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Author Topic: Stupid fucking warning signs!  (Read 894 times)

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Offline DirtDawg

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Stupid fucking warning signs!
« on: July 08, 2008, 10:32:31 AM »
We've all seen the popular, well expressed McDonalds warning on the side and top of To-Go coffee cups:

Warning: Coffee is HOT!

You have to imagine the moroniic foools who created lawsuits, causing these corporate entities to implement this change in their standard signage.

My latest favorite ...

Warning: This sandwich wrap may not protect your clothes from spills or stains.


... and to think, I once trusted these sandwich wraps.



GODDAMN!! That's a good one!

Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Parts

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2008, 10:49:35 AM »
You should work in construction and have to deal with OSHA.  Everything I use has warnings on it

Cation razor blade may be sharp

If they weren't I wouldn't want them ::)
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline El

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2008, 12:09:35 PM »
Lol!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2008, 12:14:14 PM »


Warning: Cross traffic does NOT stop!



Shit, they don't have to even stop and they're already cross?
How fucking cross would they be if I got in their way?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2008, 12:15:08 PM »
They have all those dumb warnings so people can't sue them. Yes people sue for money. I think that's what it's all about when people sue for stupid reasons, they want money.


Oh yeah here is a good one, on hair dryers, the warning label says Not for use while sleeping, Do not use while in shower.
My mother has a hair dryer (I dunno if she still has it) but on the label on the cord, it has a picture of a bathtub with water in it and the hair dryer above it and it has a circle around it and a red line through it. It even had words at the bottom under the picture about how dangerous it is.
I can remember my mother telling me some people can be pretty stupid thinking they can dry their hair while taking a bath so they have to put a warning up about it. And I thought everyone knew putting electronic devices that are on in water is pretty lethal if you are in it.


Oh yeah and on video game cartridges or in game manuals, it says to not immerse in water. There was a lady that washed her SNES games in the dishwasher and she called the Nintendo help line and told her her games stopped working after she cleaned them. The person asked her how exactly did she clean them and the woman said she put them in the dishwasher. The lady told her they are beyond repair and to use a SNES cleaning kit next time. The woman said she wished someone had told her that sooner. I just laughed when I read that story on the old Nsider forums on the Nintendo website.

Oh yeah and I have seen games that said on the box, "For use with the (insert game system here) only." There was a guy who bought Goldeneye007 and he brought it back to the store and the game cartridge was in pieces. The person at the customer service asked the guy what happened and he said he tried to make it fit into his disc drive on his computer but it didn't work. I also laughed at that story.

At least I have never been that dumb. I have known since my early childhood that if you put any electronic devices in water, they stop working right after. I wrecked few of my things just to see if they would still work after and then I kept on doing it occasionally because I was trying to figure out why they stop working after you immerse them in water. But I didn't like getting into trouble by my mother so I had to stop.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2008, 02:00:01 PM »
...
 
But I didn't like getting into trouble by my mother so I had to stop.
QFT
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Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2008, 02:16:09 PM »
I don't think I can even conceive of a person stupid enough to put a game into the dishwasher.

Good one!
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2008, 11:21:03 PM »

Another traffic warning that drives me nuts:

Wait Delayed Signal.

What the fuck does that mean? I'm already stopped here at the traffic signal. Why can't I start waiting right now? What is the significance of a delay in waiting?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2008, 11:51:42 PM »
On plastic bags: "This bag is not a toy, keep away from children."

On boxes such as tricycles they come in: "Child not included." (Not really a warning but you get the idea)

On the airplane on bags with nuts in them: "Caution, this product may contain nuts."






Offline punkdrew

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2008, 11:57:41 PM »
I heard one on Jimmy Kimmel from Uncle Frank that just collapsed me:

"The Kentucky Derby was last weekend. A horse won!"

 :LMAO:
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Alex179: Everything that is living is dying.   It will stop dying when it is dead.
"Earth is the cradle of Humanity. But one cannot live in a cradle forever."--Konstantin Tsiolkovsky
The law is the law. Rules are rules. God is God. A is A. Black is black. I want my baby back.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2008, 12:06:44 AM »

Hilarious!


On a box of Legos:

Choking hazard. Contains small parts.


Hey, Parts, is there something we should know?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline punkdrew

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2008, 12:11:32 AM »
I heard one on Jimmy Kimmel from Uncle Frank that just collapsed me:

"The Kentucky Derby was last weekend. A horse won!"

 :LMAO:

OK technically not a warning per se but it was too fucking hilarious.
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Alex179: Everything that is living is dying.   It will stop dying when it is dead.
"Earth is the cradle of Humanity. But one cannot live in a cradle forever."--Konstantin Tsiolkovsky
The law is the law. Rules are rules. God is God. A is A. Black is black. I want my baby back.

Offline Parts

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2008, 05:22:20 AM »

Hilarious!


On a box of Legos:

Choking hazard. Contains small parts.


Hey, Parts, is there something we should know?



It's better that you don't :zombiefuck:
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline garmonbozia

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2008, 04:32:43 PM »
Think you're dealing with human stupidity, try volunteering at a wildlife sanctuary full of big predatory mammals.  I've been volunteering at one for five years, but these days I only work on the one day of the week it's closed to the public.  Before tours, they have a quick safety lecture to cover things like "Stay with the tour." and "Don't stick your hand through a fence."  I wish I knew how to make some of that photo-realistic animation like on those dinosaur shows, because then I'd make one that depicts somebody getting mauled, for them to show before a tour leaves the starting point.

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Re: Stupid fucking warning signs!
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2008, 04:42:59 PM »
I guess I have become jaded to humanities inate stupidity, being a nurse, married to a pharmacist and general all round human observer.  I blow that stuff off by instinct and necessity to keep my sanity.  Like I blow off Pyraxis's mind games............some things never change!   ::)