he's a paedo bastard, with a predeliction for bacofoil and biiiiiiig boots.
or, alternatively: he's a crusty glam rocker with a predilection for small children. 
Not Crusty. He is the clown from the Simpsons.
I have spent a boatload of money on plastic surgery, I am not Crusty.
I think. Do I Really appear crusty to you?