Ask Pyraxis anything

[Pyraxis]

I remember it now; can't say that rectal electrocution is really my cup of tea though.  Congratulations on the strong pelvic muscles and lusting for the cock, or however it's working out for you.

I actually am indifferent to the fact it's in the rectum; I'm not particularly interested in anal. I hope my message gave you some form of interesting information.

[Pyraxis]

Copied from PMS Elle's "Advise- damage control?" thread.

To go to the college I had wanted to go to, and had a good scholarship to go to, and not the one my boyfriend was encouraging me to go to in order to be closer to him.

That was excellent advice.  Good thing that you listened to them. 

How did taking their advice fuck you up, though?  If you lost that boyfriend over it, was he really worth keeping?

 

It fucked me up because the way my father did it was to threaten me with my own suicide. When he sat me down and laid it out as, "If you go to XXXX college, you will burn out trying to work enough to afford it, have to drop out, lose your boyfriend, become depressed because you've ruined your chances of getting a job in your field, and commit suicide," I believed him. He was my father - I looked up to him - and I was naive and easily influenced enough that it would have likely come true through self-fulfilling prophecy. At the time I prided myself hugely on independent thought, and to realize that I couldn't stand up for myself even to defend my desire to live broke through any ideals I'd held.

I didn't lose the boyfriend, though he had a very hard time because right before I left (which he was already dreading) his house burned down and his parents started in on the divorce crap I mentioned in the other thread.

[Callaway]

Copied from PMS Elle's "Advise- damage control?" thread.

To go to the college I had wanted to go to, and had a good scholarship to go to, and not the one my boyfriend was encouraging me to go to in order to be closer to him.

That was excellent advice.  Good thing that you listened to them. 

How did taking their advice fuck you up, though?  If you lost that boyfriend over it, was he really worth keeping?

 

It fucked me up because the way my father did it was to threaten me with my own suicide. When he sat me down and laid it out as, "If you go to XXXX college, you will burn out trying to work enough to afford it, have to drop out, lose your boyfriend, become depressed because you've ruined your chances of getting a job in your field, and commit suicide," I believed him. He was my father - I looked up to him - and I was naive and easily influenced enough that it would have likely come true through self-fulfilling prophecy. At the time I prided myself hugely on independent thought, and to realize that I couldn't stand up for myself even to defend my desire to live broke through any ideals I'd held.

I didn't lose the boyfriend, though he had a very hard time because right before I left (which he was already dreading) his house burned down and his parents started in on the divorce crap I mentioned in the other thread.

Your dad does sound weird, saying that you would commit suicide like that if you did not follow his advice.

It's like he actually planted the idea in your head.

Of course it made sense to go where you wanted to go and where you already had a good scholarship to attend.

[Pyraxis]

Your dad does sound weird, saying that you would commit suicide like that if you did not follow his advice.

It's like he actually planted the idea in your head.

Yes - do you have any idea why a person would approach parental advice that way? My best theory is that he became suicidal around the same age for a similar problem and was afraid that the same thing would happen to me. He's very closed-mouthed about such things and would never tell me if that was the reason for his concern.

Of course it made sense to go where you wanted to go and where you already had a good scholarship to attend.

Agreed, though the part of me that believes in the concept of a trial by fire still has lingering doubt. I was naive and overprotected enough already and wonder whether, if I had been allowed to make my own mistakes then, I would ended up less of a masochist today.

[Callaway]

Your dad does sound weird, saying that you would commit suicide like that if you did not follow his advice.

It's like he actually planted the idea in your head.

Yes - do you have any idea why a person would approach parental advice that way? My best theory is that he became suicidal around the same age for a similar problem and was afraid that the same thing would happen to me. He's very closed-mouthed about such things and would never tell me if that was the reason for his concern.

Your theory sounds reasonable, but he may be the only person who could really tell you that.  Maybe now that you are grown, you could get him to talk about it to you, if you call or go home for a visit.  My parents told me a lot of stuff after I was grown that they never told me while I was a child.  Maybe they thought I couldn't handle it then.

[Pyraxis]

Yeah, eventually I'll probably talk to him, but first I have to get the angst out of my system. I cannot be emotionally demonstrative about it at all to him or he'll decide I'm still too immature and we'll end up fighting instead of talking.

Though at the moment I'm not convinced it's worth putting in all the effort.

[Calandale]

You haven't passed the entrance exam.

you can imagine the image that conjured up in my head!

No, actually, I have no idea the depths of your depravity. I'm pure, remember?

Care to enlighten us?

  to both.

[Calandale]

I prefer denser and more complex information. Big letters are inefficient.

But, small ones, no matter how much is said with them,
can be terribly annoying. Frankly, my largest objection to large letters
is NOT a matter of the information, but rather, like small ones, that they
don't really afford one an easy assimilation of information. Indeed, even when
used merely to highlight issues, they seem like merely a cheap advertising trick.

[SovaNu]

I prefer denser and more complex information. Big letters are inefficient.

But, small ones, no matter how much is said with them,
can be terribly annoying. Frankly, my largest objection to large letters
is NOT a matter of the information, but rather, like small ones, that they
don't really afford one an easy assimilation of information. Indeed, even when
used merely to highlight issues, they seem like merely a cheap advertising trick.

yah.

[Pyraxis]

Right.

[Calandale]

Right.

Fixed.

[Pyraxis]

Back, I see, and as annoying as ever.

 

[Calandale]

In smaller doses.

[Pyraxis]

I'll be so proud if you can hold to it.

[Lucifer]

I'll be so proud if you can hold to it.