Ask Ashley

[Leto729]

Thats Me not.

Thanks, that was really helpful.

Your welcome.

[SovaNu]

 

[Eclair]

Dear Ashley,

I have this problem.  It seems like I will fall in love on the first date.  Of course, this immediately chases the prospective girlfriend running and screaming into the night.  How can I stop falling in love so quickly.?

Dear Drifting Blizzard,

Your reaction as such is not love, it is lust....or desire to shag any female with a vagina ie; 100% of the female population.  This in itself can scare any female on the first date.

I prescribe a visit to this site www.pornhub.com

masturbate at least six times in the 2 hours before the date.  Upon your arrival at the date, you will be so exhausted and sexually satisfied, you will show little or no interest in pursuing the girl, at which point will make you irresistable to her.  After the date kiss her lightly on the cheek, tell her you had a fantastic time and look forward to seeing her again hopefully (this will make her think she has all the control).  Masturbate furiously in between seeing her next....if you are really keen phone her 2 days later, and go from there....however, keep your masturbation regime up otherwise you could slobber and rub yourself all over her throughout the date which may guarantee rejection.

In a sentence.  Keep yourself satisfied and play hard to get.

[Natalia Evans]

Dear Ashley,


I am very different from my family. I have four legs and I am hairy all over, I eat from the bowl on the floor and drink water from the bowl, I go potty outside, while everyone else has two legs and two arms and they eat on the table sitting in chairs and they drink out of these bowls which they call "cups", they pee in the house in a room which they call the bathroom, and

[driftingblizzard]

Dear Ashley,

I have this problem.  It seems like I will fall in love on the first date.  Of course, this immediately chases the prospective girlfriend running and screaming into the night.  How can I stop falling in love so quickly.?

Dear Drifting Blizzard,

Your reaction as such is not love, it is lust....or desire to shag any female with a vagina ie; 100% of the female population.  This in itself can scare any female on the first date.

I prescribe a visit to this site www.pornhub.com

masturbate at least six times in the 2 hours before the date.  Upon your arrival at the date, you will be so exhausted and sexually satisfied, you will show little or no interest in pursuing the girl, at which point will make you irresistable to her.  After the date kiss her lightly on the cheek, tell her you had a fantastic time and look forward to seeing her again hopefully (this will make her think she has all the control).  Masturbate furiously in between seeing her next....if you are really keen phone her 2 days later, and go from there....however, keep your masturbation regime up otherwise you could slobber and rub yourself all over her throughout the date which may guarantee rejection.

In a sentence.  Keep yourself satisfied and play hard to get.

Now THAT is helpful, I'm getting started right now!

[driftingblizzard]

Dear Ashley,


I am very different from my family. I have four legs and I am hairy all over, I eat from the bowl on the floor and drink water from the bowl, I go potty outside, while everyone else has two legs and two arms and they eat on the table sitting in chairs and they drink out of these bowls which they call "cups", they pee in the house in a room which they call the bathroom, and

Dear Spokane Girl,

You obviously suffer from low self esteem.  You must have some very pretty sisters to make you feel this way.  Not to worry, you can boost your self esteem by playing on your better characteristiscs.  I would recommend you find your own room in the house and urinate there, to feel more a part of the family.  Drink out of your own bowl, such as the "toilet bowl", and leave a "stinking" terd nearby it to let them know you where there.  Don't be afraid to jump up on a chair at the time when all others are eating at their table, remember, you're part of the family too.  Leave a turd under the table to let them know you're are present at all family gatherings.  At night, naw on your sister so she won't be so pretty and intimidating to your own plain looks.

[Natalia Evans]

Actually the answer was dog. I was pretending to be a dog who wrote that letter. Like the time a kangaroo wrote a letter to Ashley asking why she is so different and the fact she lives in the zoo.




Dear Ashley,



I went to the store one day and I saw a game I liked. I put it in my purse and left and then one of the employees started to scream at me. He yelled "stop" and I ran. He still yelled at me calling me a thief, then police officers were chasing after me all yelling at me to stop. Ashley, why are they chasing me?

[Calandale]

No.