Stoning

[Callaway]

I think that slipping a date rape drug into a woman's drink is more about power and control than about the sex, too.

Do you mean pushing the woman down to rape her is not about power and control? 

I can't be certain, because I KNOW I would never
do anything like that, for sex. But, I rather suspect
that extreme desire can move those with little self-
control. I've done some things that are pretty damned
foul, without any feelings of power, for sex alone. I suspect
that some feel that a woman might be willing, but unwilling
to say so.

I was raped on a date, under circumstances that Cal describes above.  The guy had poor self-control and I wasn't able to read the signs, plus we'd both been drinking.  Afterwards his roommate came in and tried to rape me too, but I had a meltdown and they thought I was having a seizure.  They both panicked, and the other guy ran.  My "date" was very apologetic and terrified that I was going to call the cops.  I didn't report him because I was scared to death of him by that point, and I also blamed myself for what happened.  My brains were already pretty scrambled from the AS and from other things in my life, so I just added it to the list of my own "mistakes." 

I've only recently started to remember and deal with this experience.  It's been unpleasant to ponder, but I guess it's doing me some good to finally face it.   

At the time it happened, I wasn't thinking of revenge.  I was just wanting it to never have happened at all, so I denied it.  If I had to assign a punishment to that guy for what happened, I have no idea what it'd be. 

I realize that every rape is "different," but I do agree with Cal that sometimes it's a lack of sexual self-control that's involved, more than a pre-meditated act of power and control over the woman. 

I know what he deserves for his "lack of self-control".  This was not your fault at all.

[Persona]

That is not enough 

I say he still needs to be tortured.

[Persona]

Orrr like what happened in Hard Candy.

[Tristeza]

I would kill bastards like that.

Thanks, Gus.   

I didn't ever hate that guy, I never wanted anything bad to happen to him.  I never considered the fact that he might be doing the same thing to other women, and that I should have done something.  I just didn't want to think about it at all. 

[Tristeza]

And thank you, too Callaway.      Even if that pic did scare the life out of me.     I don't like seeing blood.

[Callaway]

I hate him and his wannabe rapist roommate too.  I wonder how many people they "lost control" with.

 

[Tristeza]

I hate him and his wannabe rapist roommate too.  I wonder how many people they "lost control" with.

 

I don't know.  I hope he didn't do that to anyone else.  I don't want that on my karma, too.

[Sophgay]

You wouldn't have that on your karma too
Lots of women are too traumatised to go to the police after they're raped, or are scared of reporting the person who did it etc, and don't go. That doesn't mean you're to blame, it's understandable.
And I hate rapists too

[Callaway]

You wouldn't have that on your karma too
Lots of women are too traumatised to go to the police after they're raped, or are scared of reporting the person who did it etc, and don't go. That doesn't mean you're to blame, it's understandable.

[Persona]

I felt the same when a guy followed me on the tube.  I was so scared.  I hope he didn't do anything to anyone else.

First he sat next to me on the train to Paddington and kept staring at me, I thought he was just a random weirdo and lost him in Paddington.  Then suddenly he popped up again so just to see if I was being paranoid, I went the wrong way and turned.  He did the same!  Seriously freaked now, I went to the Bakerloo line and he obviously followed and stood close to me on the platform.  Then sat bang opposite me on the tube and stared all the way down to my station.  When he saw me getting up, he got up as well.  So seriously panicking right now (I had to walk a long way down from the station) I went up to a friendly looking bloke and asked him if I could walk out with him because someone was following me and I was scared.  He looked at me a bit wierdly but agreed  I never saw the other bloke again.

[Calandale]

I realize that every rape is "different," but I do agree with Cal that sometimes it's a lack of sexual self-control that's involved, more than a pre-meditated act of power and control over the woman. 

And, in my case, there was no way in hell that it
was premeditated. It fucking sickened me so much
after, that I committed a far worse 'crime' in the
eyes of my victim, blaming her; kicking her out,
of my bed, for what I did.

[Calandale]

I didn't ever hate that guy, I never wanted anything bad to happen to him.  I never considered the fact that he might be doing the same thing to other women, and that I should have done something.  I just didn't want to think about it at all. 

The kind actually bothers me more. Ah, not if it
truly was uncontrolled, I guess, but those so
assured as to push. Hell, I hate those who don't
rape, and are pushy.

[Calandale]

And thank you, too Callaway.      Even if that pic did scare the life out of me.     I don't like seeing blood.

It kinda aroused me. 

[Natalia Evans]

I don't think many women report men after they're raped. My mother sure didn't when it happened with her. She thought she deserved it and she couldn't figure out what she did wrong for some guy to come up to her and take her and rape her. I don't know any details because I never asked. All I asked was if she ever told anyone about it and she said no and I asked her why and she said she thought she did something wrong and she deserved it and she felt very ashamed. She didn't know what she did wrong. She knows now but back then she didn't. She was about my age when it happened. I don't think nothing would have happened to the guy if she went to the police about it because women didn't have rights back then but they were starting to have rights.

My aunt was raped when she was 13 by four men and what did my grandparents do about it, nothing, they made her abort her baby because they were very embarrassed. They thought they would get disowned by their whole family if they all found out. My mother told me they didn't go to the police because the judge would have said she was out looking for sex because she was wearing a tight skirt and it was a message to the men she wants sex. But she was only 13, was it okay to have sex with kids that young in the early 70's?
I know the age of consent now is 16 depending on what state. In some states, it's 17.

I assume my grandparents forced my aunt to keep it all a secret because no one knew about it. She never asked anyone why she was forced to have an abortion and it was against their church rules so it confused her more and more and then she finally went crazy, literally. Now she has a mental illness. My mother said it was the rape that did it, not the abortion.

[Callaway]

I think that you're right about how often women don't report it to the police when they are raped, Spokane Girl.

Neither your mother nor your aunt did anything wrong.

I feel awful that this happened to them.