ask me anything - mcj answers them

[McGiver]

Why is it that, for the most part, men seem to want more sex than women?  I would think that the sexes would have evolved similarly, but in most cases there is this divergence.  How do you explain it, evolutionarily or societally?

   

I THINK IT GOES BACK TO THE HUNTERS AND GATHERERS THINGY.
HOWEVER...

i do believe that men are actually pressured into it by society.  everywhere you look there is sex that is appealing to the male ego (specifically the media).

also, i think it is important to note that sex for a man, by and large, does not carry with it the same burden of responsibility that it does for women.  getting pregnant is not as big a concern for a man as it is for the women.  therefore women are generally more careful about sex.

plus, sex for a man is simply about cumming.  it seems (i said seems) that for a woman there is alot more emotion involved.  and foreplay is generally necessary to make a woman have a great time, but a man simply needs to cum, which isn't difficult (except for peter).  therefore i conclude that men are generally selfish lovers and most really don't know how to handle anything other than the in and out motion.

it is a combination of:
*historical perceptions
*societal pressures (media portrayals)
*responsibilities resulting from sex
*men are bad at sex

sorry triste, but this is all i can cum up with on the spur of the moment.

there is something i would like to consider in this short essay.  i wonder what the percentage of women vs men who try some kind of same sex, sexual experience.  i think it might be important because i believe that way more straight females have tried it than straight males.  i think this is due to the fact that men do not have a clue.

[McGiver]

How do you know when to forgive someone?

instinct.

basically i always try my best to make spats or misunderstandings come full circle, ending in forgiveness.  i am a sucker for giving people repetitive chances.  because i feel that i am not a perfect human being, and that my sins are probably not any worse than the ones that forced me into the judgmental position in the first place.  so i tend to think that i would like forgiveness, so i give it.

i cannot think of a single instance that has happened in my life that i would not forgive someone.  forgewtting is a different matter.  if it is something that i just cannot (for one reason or another) shake from my thoughts, then i havwe no problem distancing myself from the individual.

in total, i would say that i tend to rely on instinct.  i try not to let things get inside my head, because then they are controlling me.

[McGiver]

Are you satisfied with your life, right now?

sure.

are there other things i would like to be doing?
sure.

could i have more money in the bank?
sure.

could i have taght my daughters more things by this point in their lives?
sure.


are there 1001 other things that i could have/should have?
sure.


but why live in regret of what isn't?  i feel that its a pretty good life right now.  and it getys better and better as the years go by.  however, i do not think i have hit a midlife crises yet.  i hope not to, since i really do not like to dwell on regrets.


sure, i am happy so far.

[McGiver]

What will you do when your oldest daughter becomes a teenager, and is disrespectful towards you?

i do not know. 

what i can tell you is that i am trying to condition her now, to respect me later.  its a dream, i know.  but, it couldn't hurt to try.

What am i going to do when the inevitable happens?
i will probably feel hurt.
i will get over it and remeber how disrespectful i was.
then, i will try not to make the same mistakes that my parents (mom in particular made), so that my kids will regain their respect for me one day.  unlike myself towards my own mother.  she used martyr tactics and guilt.  once i got over my teenage rebellion and realized how low my mother had sunk, i had even less respect for her, than i did as a disrespectful teenager.

i am sure that i will 'wing it.'

there is no text book that can teach you how to parent.  i feel that it is important to pay attention and brainwash your kids (but not with guilt).  lets face it, everything in life is a brainwash in one form or another.  we are all conditioned to certain behaviours.  so i am choosing to proctively brainwash my kids to have their own minds.  so i will get the disrespectful teenagers, for sure.  but i will be proud of them for being like that.  since, this is their time of life when they self wean themselves and forge their own identities.  they will one day have to face the real world and i hope that they are strong enough to face it head on.  not be a mindless, conditioned drone of all things that I forced down their throat.

the end.

thank you triste for the questions.

[McGiver]

Why is it that, for the most part, men seem to want more sex than women?  I would think that the sexes would have evolved similarly, but in most cases there is this divergence.  How do you explain it, evolutionarily or societally?

   

I THINK IT GOES BACK TO THE HUNTERS AND GATHERERS THINGY.
HOWEVER...

i do believe that men are actually pressured into it by society.  everywhere you look there is sex that is appealing to the male ego (specifically the media).

also, i think it is important to note that sex for a man, by and large, does not carry with it the same burden of responsibility that it does for women.  getting pregnant is not as big a concern for a man as it is for the women.  therefore women are generally more careful about sex.

plus, sex for a man is simply about cumming.  it seems (i said seems) that for a woman there is alot more emotion involved.  and foreplay is generally necessary to make a woman have a great time, but a man simply needs to cum, which isn't difficult (except for peter).  therefore i conclude that men are generally selfish lovers and most really don't know how to handle anything other than the in and out motion.

it is a combination of:
*historical perceptions
*societal pressures (media portrayals)
*responsibilities resulting from sex
*men are bad at sex

sorry triste, but this is all i can cum up with on the spur of the moment.

there is something i would like to consider in this short essay.  i wonder what the percentage of women vs men who try some kind of same sex, sexual experience.  i think it might be important because i believe that way more straight females have tried it than straight males.  i think this is due to the fact that men do not have a clue.

oh yeah, this just occured to me.

women use sex as a weapon, moreso than men do.  if women made sex readily available for men, like men do for women, sex as a weapon would lose its effectiveness.

[Peter]

plus, sex for a man is simply about cumming.  it seems (i said seems) that for a woman there is alot more emotion involved.  and foreplay is generally necessary to make a woman have a great time, but a man simply needs to cum, which isn't difficult (except for peter).  therefore i conclude that men are generally selfish lovers and most really don't know how to handle anything other than the in and out motion.

Whereas I'm doomed to focus on the emotional fufillment of the experience and to care about the woman's enjoyment?  What a cruel and terrible fate.

[McGiver]

poor peter.
we carwe about your sensitivities, or lack, thereof.

[Triste]

Whereas I'm doomed to focus on the emotional fufillment of the experience and to care about the woman's enjoyment?  What a cruel and terrible fate.

No, no, tis not!
The best intimacy arises from unselfishness, from not caring about your own climax.  Your lovers are blessed, and therefore so are you.
And from what you write, you have experiences that many men, let alone men with AS, do not.  Your life seems rich because of it, at least from the reading of what you write.
The best lover I ever had was also so doomed, as you say.

Sorry to hijack your thread, McJ, but I figure you won't mind.

[Triste]

So, going back to the question about the discrepancy between the sex drives of men and women, I appreciate your answers, McJ.
But it leaves for me still the question of the difference in what seems to me to be a purely physical difference.  Every guy I've ever known wants or even needs an orgasm a day.  Most women I know don't seem to have the same need.  And my question is, why is that?

[Peter]

Whereas I'm doomed to focus on the emotional fufillment of the experience and to care about the woman's enjoyment?  What a cruel and terrible fate.

No, no, tis not!
The best intimacy arises from unselfishness, from not caring about your own climax.  Your lovers are blessed, and therefore so are you.
And from what you write, you have experiences that many men, let alone men with AS, do not.  Your life seems rich because of it, at least from the reading of what you write.
The best lover I ever had was also so doomed, as you say.

Sorry to hijack your thread, McJ, but I figure you won't mind.

I was being sarcastic, but yes, the first girl I was ever with, back when I was 16, commented that I'd make a great lover.  Haven't had any complaints since then either.

[Triste]

And I am doomed to never get sarcasm.
Remind me again why I'm here?

[Peter]

And I am doomed to never get sarcasm.
Remind me again why I'm here?

Because here, everyone else struggles too.

[McGiver]

So, going back to the question about the discrepancy between the sex drives of men and women, I appreciate your answers, McJ.
But it leaves for me still the question of the difference in what seems to me to be a purely physical difference.  Every guy I've ever known wants or even needs an orgasm a day.  Most women I know don't seem to have the same need.  And my question is, why is that?

perhaps it is due to the fact that an orgasm for a man is easy.
this is not the case for the ladies.  time is a valuable resource and therefore maybe the women cannot be arsed to waste their time in a failed efort.
if you are talking about orgasm due to masturbation.  then, peraps a womans orgasm is more powerful and gratifying than a mans.  because of this their single orgasm leaves them contented for a longer period of time.

[Callaway]

What will you do when your daughters are young teenagers and some older teenage boys only want to get into their pants?

[McGiver]

What will you do when your daughters are young teenagers and some older teenage boys only want to get into their pants?

ding, ding, ding.
we have a winner ladies and germs.

you have asked the one question that drives straight to the heart of my fears.

i am deeply afraid that boys are just like me. 

callaway, i seriously do not know (outside of the answer i provided earlier: teaching them now).  i suppose my best bet is to rediscover religion and get down on my knees to pray.  because, there really is nothing i can do about it.  if there is a desire, then, it will happen.