After a long tiring day at work with all sorts of silly nonsense running around your brain, do you ever walk in your front door and pretend to be a tough talking New York cop with a chip on his shoulder and a story to tell? Do you then begin shouting at your wife in a broad New York accent...
"who cooked this food...I want answers an I wannum now DAMMIT!?...................DON'T GIMME THAT LOOK NOW YA HEAR ME? I'VE HAD A ROUGH DAY, JUST ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTIONS THEN I GET THE HELLA OURRA HERE..."
"....WHERE IN THE NAME A SHIT IS MY FUCKING CWOFFEE?!"
That's what I'd do...if I had a wife. If I also had kids I'd yell at them to "get to ya fucking room, ya mutha got a few things she wants to tell me!"
I'd keep up the act until everyone, except me, was crying, then I'd laugh aloud and say "HAHAHA I'M ONLY JOKING, I'M NOT REALLY A NEW YORK COP WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER AND A STORY TO TELL!!!"
We'd all LOL then eat dinner and I'd then say "nice dinner wife...pass the salt".