New drugs from doctor?

[SovaNu]

i'd probably still want someone else to clean it

I want a shower in a different room to the toilet

it's fucking annoying

it means my hair is wet nearly alll the time
which will suck when i have to go back to uni as i'll have to dry it somehow

 

i wish there was a cure for OCD.

cut your hair and have a blow drier handy. short hair dries quicker.

[Sophgay]

my mum gets pissed off when i cut my hair shorter, because they don't want me to "look like a boy" rofl

it's annoying. they think everything i do is because of my depression or my AS, so i need saving from myself or something, because it's not what i'd actually do if i wasn't depressed. it has ntohing to do with that though, it's either my OCD or because i'm transgendered which they don't know either.

i hate it all

[Sophgay]

and they still don't know about sophie

no one here does

someone asked me the other day why i am interested in california

they asked me twice

and if i want a "partner"

it makes me so paranoid

[Christopher McCandless]

I tried
She won't let me 

Remind her that you are an adult now, and its time for her to mollycoddle you less. Its not like she could not leave you some ready meals or something now, is it? Maybe even go for the halfway house, where you stay a night or two at your nanna's, and she can phone up to check on you. As I said, you really need to put your foot down.

[SovaNu]

parents can be dimwitted.

[Sophgay]

she could leave me food, but she still wouldn't trust me to not fuck something up, or leave the door open or something

[Christopher McCandless]

parents can be dimwitted.

As can children. My parents both know that I will not take any shit, I am independent enough to live on my own all years around if needs be. Not that I expect it will ever come close to that, but the point is that they respect my independence.

[vodz]

Therapy is much better than medication.

I could see a psychologist for free if I want. I'd pay for it first then the government health system would reimburse me.

I went to a session last year because of a lack in motivation.

After the first session I couldn't be fucked going back.

I was seeing a psych at uni as well for a while (completely free) for the same problem, but it didn't feel like it was going anywhere.
I'd walk out of sessions feeling 10 times more miserable than when I walked in. I did get a bit out of it though - namely that any problem is just "in my head" so to speak, and thus so is the solution. Medication is a way of avoiding the problem (I have tried sertraline in the past, didn't like it).

[SovaNu]

talking therapy doesn't help with OCD. in my case it makes it worse. OCD is a chemical imbalance or something. you have to either train the brain by behavior modification or change it via meds. or both. when i get rid of one OCD another one pops in, it's just the way my brain works.

[renaeden]

plus how can i get a job while i'm like this/?
it's have to be somewhere clean and for only few hours
and that's just my ocd, my AS and SAD brings up a shitload of other problems for jobs too
but im already a burden on my family, my mum does about as much for me as she does for my brothers, and im nearly 20

and if i ever live on my own, i wouldnt be able to clean a bathroom
but i cant afford a fucking slave

Thinking about jobs and things now is not good because you are already saying how bad it will be and you haven't even started seeing someone or trying medication. Thinking too far down the future, you have already written it for yourself and you are depressed about it already and it hasn't happened yet!

Get through these next few weeks first and see what happens.

[SovaNu]

totally what Renaeden said.

[Sophgay]

I was seeing a psych at uni as well for a while (completely free) for the same problem, but it didn't feel like it was going anywhere.
I'd walk out of sessions feeling 10 times more miserable than when I walked in.

I saw one at uni for free last year, but it didn't help. I found out that I "catastrophise" though

[Sophgay]

talking therapy doesn't help with OCD. in my case it makes it worse. OCD is a chemical imbalance or something. you have to either train the brain by behavior modification or change it via meds. or both. when i get rid of one OCD another one pops in, it's just the way my brain works.

yeah that's why i think only meds will work
i'm a very weak person (not that i don't try, i do, but usually fail lol), so i don't think i could handle having to just make myself get rid of it through behavour change

i just want some fucking drugs ffs

i want drugs for ocd
drugs for depression
drugs for anxiety (although that's one's not as important)

i wish they did drugs that got rid of my disorientation as well

[Sophgay]

plus how can i get a job while i'm like this/?
it's have to be somewhere clean and for only few hours
and that's just my ocd, my AS and SAD brings up a shitload of other problems for jobs too
but im already a burden on my family, my mum does about as much for me as she does for my brothers, and im nearly 20

and if i ever live on my own, i wouldnt be able to clean a bathroom
but i cant afford a fucking slave

Thinking about jobs and things now is not good because you are already saying how bad it will be and you haven't even started seeing someone or trying medication. Thinking too far down the future, you have already written it for yourself and you are depressed about it already and it hasn't happened yet!

Get through these next few weeks first and see what happens.

yeah i guess you are right lol
it's just really hard to motivate myself, because i know my life will still be shit even if i get rid of the ocd and depression. i have nothing to look forward to.

[renaeden]

You want to read my above post again?

because i know my life will still be shit even if i get rid of the ocd and depression. i have nothing to look forward to.

You actually don't know and neither does anyone else.

I thought you looked forward to going to uni and studying about Russia? And going to the museum? And getting an axolotl? You can make these happen.