the shakes

[Soph]

good thing is me and sophie have the same name, so i f shit comes to fuck i will just say i was bored and wrote my name but didnt have  a pen. that sounds ccrazy but thats the kind of retarded thing i would actually do, so believaly

[Rabbit From Hell]

huh, I have now clue about your mom

my mom would get me booze if I asked for it, well, a moderate amount of booze

[Soph]

she'd get me some, but worry even mroe

and i make her worry enough as it is

im here to stop people being messed up

but im actually messing them up even more]]


where is the sense?
nowhere

my left arm is getting shakey again
makes me think theres something wrong with my blood-pumping device

i feel an art attack coming on1
let me go get my colouring pencils and pva gloo
brb

[Rabbit From Hell]

hey, she'll worry even more than that if you drink a bunch of caffiene and end up in the hospital from hypoglycemia

[SovaNu]

i drink everyday and mom doesn't buy me booze anymore. i have to get money now so i can buy it myself. she doesn't want to enable me. lol. so she makes me work for the money but she knows i buy booze with it.

you should wear long sleeves. that's what i do. i made new cuts so i have to now. i also have to wear pants or leggings. i should get some knee high socks so i can just wear a dress sometimes.

[Soph]

im gonan end up in hosptial one day probably anyway
not letting thme do anything to memade my mind up on that already

ive been having to wear long sleeves when i go downstairs now
but in my room or sleeping im ok because my left arm is against the wall always

bad idea, i wish id done it somewhere else now

<hypocrite>and you shouldnt cut</hypocrite>

[Rabbit From Hell]

When I cut it seemed so logical.  But now I'm like, "why the fuck would I do that?"

[Soph]

i nver understood why peope did it when i was younger
i can see how iot helps now though
that and alcohol have saved me several times since december

[Calandale]

Low blood sugar.  Eat some sugar/candy NOW, then get some pasta or bread or ric, something like that in you.  Avoid chocolate, it slows down sugar absorbtion to a crawl.

Yeah. This is what I found off my dancing.
But, I don't think it's her problem - she seems
to get plenty of sugar in her diet.

[SovaNu]

i'm worried about sleeping with my arms bare too. not that mom ever comes to my room. i left some bloody tissue downstairs the other day too and mom asked if i was cutting and i said no. she said nothing. before that too i had blood on my pants one time. she asked then too and i said no. i guess she's too afraid to whine about it. i got mad at her the first time she found out. she was all whiny and i couldn't stand it so i said i didn't wannt talk about it. i can't stand it being such a big deal to people. if i went to the hospital they'd freak out too. they have those gowns and everyone would see my arms. i watch a lot of Casualty and Holby City and ER and think about their stupid gowns. i dunno why people freak out about cutting. not that it's healthy but it's more important what causes the cutting. the process that leads to it.

i hope you don't end up in hospital, Soph. stay healthy. eat something and don't drink pepsi.

i think cutting feels logical too. but then in the morning i wake up with my arm sore and i'm all why the fuck did i cut again? i feel so stupid. at night when i'm drinking it seems logical and when i'm upset it doesn't matter if it's logical.

[Calandale]

I think it's all the caffeine.

[Rabbit From Hell]

Low blood sugar.  Eat some sugar/candy NOW, then get some pasta or bread or ric, something like that in you.  Avoid chocolate, it slows down sugar absorbtion to a crawl.

Yeah. This is what I found off my dancing.
But, I don't think it's her problem - she seems
to get plenty of sugar in her diet.

Couple that with caffiene and the sugar goes bye-bye.

[Tristeza]

I wish neither of you felt like cutting yourselves.    

Soph, you're eating too much sugar constantly and that's causing your blood sugar to go up and down too drastically.  You really need some protein and carbs, and lay off the candy and Pepsi.  That's probably also what's causing your chest pains, too much sugar and caffeine.

I still think you need your heart checked, because I'll bet you have a problem with your mitral valve - it can cause panic attacks.

[Soph]

i went through times in november wehere i didnt eat at all though, and that was just constant shit. at least this is shit most of the time but sometimes not shit.

i dont like how i always do it on my arm late at night when i get really bad or if i get suicidal or something, and then a few hours later when i calm down, i go to sleep and i have to lie with my arm making sure it doesnt touch the bed or anything lol

i dont realyl "cut" though
i know people say it is, but its not like i get a knife and slash my arms open, its more like cat scratches
well, maybe more than that but not enough to be "cutting"
but for the sake of it, i will lump it in with "cutting"

i hate those gowns they have too milla
i dont want to go to hospital or anything
if i found out i had cancer or something, i wouldnt go

[Parts]

I get them really bad when I have a meltdown. I scared the shit out of people they seem to thin I am going to snap and kill them or something.  It could just be nerves is there any way to get some stuff to calm you down a bit from the doctor like some benzos thats what I tale