there IS such a book. it's the Bible.
or the Qu'ran.
or the Torah, Book of the Dead, Tain, Mabinogion, Rig Veda, etc., etc., i'm sure you get the picture.
of course, a far better one is h2g2, but then i would say that wouldn't i?
best idea of all - write your own.
(i know what you mean, though - it's a bastard, ain't it?)