Help Pyraxis act like a woman

[Pyraxis]

Horror of horrors, I have to go to a formal reception in two weeks. The invitation says cocktail attire and I have no clue what that means. I own an ankle-length black skirt and a top that looks vaguely like this, does that count for anything or do I have to go shopping? Also I don't own any makeup and haven't worn any since a Halloween costume when I was 11, can anyone give me a brief rundown of what type, if any, I should be wearing? And how to put it on and get it off afterwards.

[hiroshima]

Shirt looks fine, skirt sounds fine, wear flat sandals so you look elegant but don't kill yourself trying to walk.  Take a shower that day, comb your hair, buy a lipstick of a light shade and try to get it just on your lips.  Don't worry about the other stuff (too complex).  Wear earrings and a bracelet.  Get your nails and toes done at a nail salon the day before.  Get the lipstick off with a tissue-- just rub.

[McGiver]

you could go to the mall and have one of those people apply makeup for you, free of charge.

i would suggest going early, in case the first person does a crappy job then you can take it off (i don't know how this is done) and try another.

bring your camara phone and take pictures and email them to me and i will give you an honest assessment, from a male POV.

if you find that you like the free makeover and its still early, go somewhere with air conditioning and remain there til you are ready to leave to become the bell of the ball.

[Pyraxis]

My ears aren't pierced, does that matter? What do you tell people at a nail salon? What's it called, do you just walk in and say "I need to get my fingernails and toenails done"? How much does it cost, and how can I avoid spending more than I have to on this? What color would you recommend asking for? Left to my own devices, I'd probably go for something about the color of my avatar, or else dark green. The shirt I have is various shades of dark green with copper trimming

[McGiver]

manicure and pedicure.

make sure you enjoy the part where they massage your feet with lotion.

[McGiver]

i think about $35 dollars for the both, plus don't forget the tip.

[hiroshima]

Here it is $20 or under for nails and toes.  Tip a couple dollars.

Say: "A neutral color please, you pick."

Never mind about the earrings.  Just wear a bracelet.

[McGiver]

they have clip ons.

i was thinking and dont mistake me for a sexist (feminist).
while you are at the gala, smile alot, polite laughs at people jokes (which will be constant), and practice flipping your hair.  cause i have noticed that women do that alot at parties.

[Pyraxis]

bring your camara phone and take pictures and email them to me and i will give you an honest assessment, from a male POV.

LOL. You just want to trick me into sending you hot pics of myself.

I might. But only if you promise not to spread them all over the board without my permission.

[Pyraxis]

and practice flipping your hair.  cause i have noticed that women do that alot at parties.

I can do that. I was planning on getting a hair cut anyway, so that it comes to just below my chin. That flips and swings around pretty well.

[McGiver]

i wont.
but i might be relentless trying to talk you into posting one of them.

[Pyraxis]

Okay, that's a challenge I can handle. 

[McGiver]

i actually am waiting for callaway to reply to this thread with a few links to exactly the information you need.

[Callaway]

LOL

How did you know I was looking for websites for Pyraxis, McJagger?

Here is one about applying makeup, although I like McJagger's idea of going to a department store in the mall, visiting their makeup counter and having them do your makeup for you, if you can manage to do it.  I have done that before and I think they do a better job of applying it than I do myself.  Ask for samples of the makeup they use on you, so you can touch it up it if you need to.  You might need to buy a lipstick, so you can reapply it.  I use Cetaphil Cleanser to remove makeup, but I have very sensitive skin.  Some people use soap and water.

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art7869.asp

Here is a website with cocktail dresses, so you can compare what other women might be wearing to your outfit.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/6001766/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6001766?cm_ven=overture&cm_cat=apparel&cm_pla=Generic-Dresses&cm_ite=cocktail_dress

I don't know anything about the dress size you wear or your complexion, so I can't make specific recommendations, but, in my opinion, your blouse may not be dressy enough for a cocktail party.  What fabrics are it and the skirt made of?

[McGiver]

callaway,
its because i know you.

you are a research genius and one of the most helpful people i have ever known.

2 and 2 always equals 4, right?