can anyone translate this msn convo from a stranger that added me in french

[Tom/Mutate]

  Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
 
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
oo
tom says:
hello?
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
tu vas bien
tom says:
oui merci
tom says:
whos this???
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
c ki la
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
?
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
c pas thomas
tom says:
yeah thats me
tom says:
je suis thomas
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
T2 DOU,
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
T2 DOU
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
t'é dou
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
?
tom says:
 je'ne pas parle francais tres bien
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
mets wat's fuck?
tom says:
parle vous anglais
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
bn
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
 sérieu
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
c ki
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
la
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
lekel de toma
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
i call a square a square a circle a circle so if you act like a bitch i call you bitch
tom says:
thats more like it!!!
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
je sai ki c
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
c Chinoi
je sai ki c
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
c Chinoi
.....  [ E s t e l l e ) ..... -- NamOur..   says:
bn thcoa

[vodz]

c'est qui la - who's that

[Calandale]

Gods. Froggy netspeak. 

[Kosmonaut]

As much sense as some of my msn convos, and no i can't translate. 

[The_P]

c'est qui la - who's that

I take it that's an idiomatic phrase.

[vodz]

c'est qui la - who's that

I take it that's an idiomatic phrase.

You're an idiomatic.

[The_P]

c'est qui la - who's that

I take it that's an idiomatic phrase.

You're an idiomatic.

Nah, I'm a Ghost Train.