When if comes to sexual preference I'm a prude,
I find the things some folks do rather rude.
The rest of the world has a violent schism
With those fearsome freaks who like foot fetishism.
If you fancy schoolgirls, oh please, get a grip!
And S+M junkies can keep all their whips,
I shudder with fear at those folks who are queer,
And if you're bisexual, don't come too near,
BUT
Everybody loves a necrophile,
Shag me if you've been dead for a while.
Make sure they're well cold before you begin,
Then keep going until rigor mortis sets in.
Yes, it's corpses that really get me hot,
Felt so horny as my love began to rot.
I get such a buzz when I achieve penetration,
An hour or two just before their cremation...
Necrophilia is always so sensual,
And with the dead, it's always consensual,
And everybody loves a necrophile. (Jazz hands.)
I like the OXFORD UNIVERSITY LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT SOCIETY.