Bowl of porridge cooked the way I like it.
two coffee mugs of jumbo size rolled oats
two of the same, full of full-fat, full cream milk, none of that skimmed or semi-skimmed muck.
Slab of butter, proper butter, absolutely NOT any of those spreadable fuckers, the stuff thats part butter part vegetable oil, part paint stripper. Nice, rock-solid, bastardly to spread on anything until it's been left out, or a piece cut off and microwaved for a second or three. Porridge needs real butter. And really salty stuff too. Or it ain't going in there. I melt it in while it cooks, not serve it as a topping. Makes the porridge richer, saltier and tastier.
Then a generous mound of salt, a teaspoonful or so, roughly, going by what I imagine would fit in one compared to the average size of the pile I pour into my hand and chuck in.
Demerara light brown sugar, not measured, just cut the corner off the bag and sprinkle it around a bit.
Cook low heat until it's really thick, and really nice and hot.
Then, take a fist-full of that really really sticky, treacly, dark and moist soft molasses type sugar, the stuff so dark african racists would shout 'nigger' about.
And sprinkle, inasfar as doing so is practical with the stuff, which clumps together like anhydrous calcium chloride being used to desiccate soaking piss wet through nonpolar solvents, total sod to distribute at all evenly, so I just TRY using thumb and forefinger to break it up into bits that melt easier and throw it all over the show.
IF there's any left in said fist, down the hatch it goes. Although there almost never is.
No, it probably isn't exactly what you'd call great dietary advice. But it IS what can be called a fucking tasty breakfast.
Also ate a gobstopper, chewing gum center, searing hot fireball-candy shell, that smells just like P2NP, lovely. I can't eat one without thinking of the other, or reduce the other, without thinking of fireball candy, haven't been able to work with P2NP for bloody time, now, without a mental association with fireball candy. It smells SO much like it, its uncanny. Although definitely NOT a consumable substance, it is an irritant to skin, and as vapor, its like teargas. Only, teargas that smells so good that you work up an appetite whilst coughing, choking, spluttering, eyes and nose streaming and burning and swearing the air so thick with profanities and blasphemies, in several different languages, that you could float a brick in it.
But it smells so fucking good...WHY has teargas got to smell so nice you actually want to stick your nose in a pile of it in crystalline form! That's the gods of chemistry taking the fucking royal great piss if ever the royal great piss was taken.
Aldi do salmiak? oh damn I'm gonna look.
You should see if your aldi places do the frozen margarita cocktail sorbets gettable here. And even better, frozen mojito, either in a BIG pouch, just freeze, slice the end off, squeeze out a big fat bowl full of either tasty cocktail in sorbet form.
Bet you couldn't manage to eat just one, unless you bought only one and moved the hell away from the shops before tasting it. I can't. Not a huge alcohol fan, but those are good enough to eat until you get pretty pissed, even when you only wanted them because they taste so fucking good.
As for me, also drinking a milkshake. Just most of a 2l jug of milk, and a tub of cadbury's hot chocolate mix. Cold, just tossed the powder in on a sheet of printer paper to guide it, as I'd not consume anything that's been in any non-glass funnel. The others are used to pour chromic acid wastes into tanks for me to recycle when the demijohns are full up. And hexavalent chromium is toxic, carcinogenic and generally considered toxic waste, and with good reason. And in this case, it's stewing in 98-99% sulfuric acid.
So not going to be using THAT to funnel hot chocolate mix into my milkshake
Chocolate, cancer, and toxic waste flavour...yum.
