Educational
« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Help  (Read 462 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline maldoror

  • Bipolar Marksman of the Aspie Elite
  • .
  • Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 2180
  • Karma: 70
  • Gender: Male
  • shwing
Help
« on: October 24, 2007, 06:57:37 PM »
Tomorrow I have my first date in like a year, but I'm not sure just how far into "date" territory it is, in other words, I don't know whether it's appropriate for me to pay. It was more or less a casual invitation to have lunch together, so I don't think so, but I wouldn't want her to expect otherwise and immediate come off as a cheap-ass, which I am. Help me out?
Logged
!!Super atomic enema!!

duncvis

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2007, 07:04:39 PM »
If its casual and neither of you have much money, its reasonable to expect you're splitting the check. I'm not a great person to ask having never had more than the most casual of relationships (I'm a 31 year old kid. meh) - me and PI when we were first going out basically pooled our 'playing out' cash like mates anyway, and previous girlfriends just assumed I was skint and would chip in what I'd got. :laugh:
Logged

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2007, 07:32:09 PM »
Just ask/be honest about what your thinking!  If she's genuinely interested in you, she'll be flattered and appreciate your honesty.  If you can swing the tab on your own, then do that as well.  Either way, speak up and ask whats expected.  There are women out there who appreciate a clear cut understanding of whats expected as much as we males do.  What Dunc suggested is good.
Logged

richard

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2007, 10:59:12 AM »
dude take her to the golden arches.  :laugh:

obviously im joking, i'd rent a couple godzilla movies and a sixpack off beer and stay in for the nite watching movies.
Logged

Offline Alex179

  • Prince, General
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6677
  • Karma: 345
  • Gender: Male
  • Socially retarded
Re: Help
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2007, 11:56:58 AM »
If you unsure then it is often safe to at least ask if you can pay (if you can afford it).   Being friends usually at first, I almost always have split checks with women I hang out with the first few times at least.    It isn't like I haven't bought my guy friends lunch when they were out a job or something haha.   Depends on where you stand with her of course, friend or otherwise.
Logged
:P   Internets are super serious.

Offline Calandale

  • Official sheep shagger of the aspie underclass
  • Elder
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 41238
  • Karma: -57
  • Gender: Male
  • peep
    • The Game Box: Live!
Re: Help
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2007, 11:59:15 AM »
Quote from: ozymandias on October 24, 2007, 07:32:09 PM
Just ask/be honest about what your thinking! 

I disagree. This sounds casual, and you want to keep
it that way, for fear of scaring her off. Being that direct
forces her to decide too soon. Sounds like the kind of
thing that I tend towards. Split the bill, UNLESS she
seems hard up - then 'tis simple kindness to offer to
pay.
Logged

Kosmonaut

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2007, 12:03:39 PM »
No way would i pay. I wouldnt even consider it.
Logged

Offline Calandale

  • Official sheep shagger of the aspie underclass
  • Elder
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 41238
  • Karma: -57
  • Gender: Male
  • peep
    • The Game Box: Live!
Re: Help
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2007, 12:08:18 PM »
I've paid a couple of times. But, only
the same as I would for anyone. Anything
else would feel wrong.
Logged

purposefulinsanity

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2007, 12:48:17 PM »
Since its a first date, was planned casually (from the sound of it) and is only a lunch date, if it were me I'd be fully expecting to (and happy to) pay my share.
Logged

Offline Pyraxis

  • Werewolf Wrangler of the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 16679
  • Karma: 1433
  • aka Daria
Re: Help
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2007, 01:00:39 PM »
Quote from: Mangled_Corpse on October 25, 2007, 11:56:58 AM
If you unsure then it is often safe to at least ask if you can pay (if you can afford it).   Being friends usually at first, I almost always have split checks with women I hang out with the first few times at least.    It isn't like I haven't bought my guy friends lunch when they were out a job or something haha.

Agreed. Offering will likely be seen as nice/polite, whether or not she lets you pay. By offering, you give her the option to do whatever she's comfortable with.
Logged
Quote from: Gopher Gary on October 11, 2015, 06:41:29 PM
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline enronh

  • Intensity's Bicycle Repairman
  • Elder
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 2533
  • Karma: 247
Re: Help
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2007, 01:14:48 PM »
Quote from: mald on October 24, 2007, 06:57:37 PM
Tomorrow I have my first date in like a year, but I'm not sure just how far into "date" territory it is, in other words, I don't know whether it's appropriate for me to pay. It was more or less a casual invitation to have lunch together, so I don't think so, but I wouldn't want her to expect otherwise and immediate come off as a cheap-ass, which I am. Help me out?

On the other hand if you think it will go somewhere, you should pay. By doing this your taking control, taking responsibilty for the date rather than expecting her to. And thats what women want. Its only lunch so its not gonna cost too much.
Logged

Offline maldoror

  • Bipolar Marksman of the Aspie Elite
  • .
  • Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 2180
  • Karma: 70
  • Gender: Male
  • shwing
Re: Help
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2007, 04:24:31 PM »
Well, turns out social anxiety took care of my appetite and we just went for coffee. I didn't pay for her. But the coffee didn't do well for my anxiety, and also I didn't sleep last night so I have the whole depression and anxiety double team thing going on - it's times like this I'm glad for this site. But, I think it went pretty well.
Logged
!!Super atomic enema!!

duncvis

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2007, 04:26:25 PM »
:thumbup:
Logged

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Help
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2007, 04:58:17 PM »
Quote from: mald on October 25, 2007, 04:24:31 PM
Well, turns out social anxiety took care of my appetite and we just went for coffee. I didn't pay for her. But the coffee didn't do well for my anxiety, and also I didn't sleep last night so I have the whole depression and anxiety double team thing going on - it's times like this I'm glad for this site. But, I think it went pretty well.

Keep us posted as to what happens..........good luck! 8)
Logged

Offline Callaway

  • Official Spokesperson for the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 29267
  • Karma: 2488
  • Gender: Female
Re: Help
« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2007, 08:08:00 PM »
Quote from: mald on October 25, 2007, 04:24:31 PM
Well, turns out social anxiety took care of my appetite and we just went for coffee. I didn't pay for her. But the coffee didn't do well for my anxiety, and also I didn't sleep last night so I have the whole depression and anxiety double team thing going on - it's times like this I'm glad for this site. But, I think it went pretty well.

I'm glad that it went well, mald.

Does coffee always affect you like this?
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »