Poke my brains a bit...

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

Jizz lets talk funerals.

Music..........titles and a sample of some of the lyrics, followed by dresscode, details of the
service.....followed by details of a finale if you plan one. (like a major firework display coming from around your coffin)

You already no doubt know what my mine would involve.

[Jizz]

I never give much thought to my funeral to be honest lol.

Ummm, I suppose I'd have Albatross by Fleetwood Mac playing as it's my favourite instrumental of all time, plus it's not too long either.A few other songs would be...

Song To the Siren by This Mortal Coil
On the floating, shapeless oceans
I did all my best to smile
til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving into your eyes.
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me;
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, here I am waiting to hold you.
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?

Now my foolish boat is leaning, broken love lost on your rocks.
For you sang, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.
I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?

Hear me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you."
"Here I am. Here I am, waiting to hold you."

Nutshell by Alice In Chains
We chase misprinted lies
We face the path of time
And yet I fight
And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to
No place to call home

Oooh...oooh...
Oooh...oooh...

My gift of self is raped
My privacy is raked
And yet I find
And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I cant be my own
Id feel better dead

Oooh...oooh...
Oooh...oooh...

And of course.....

Ace of Spades by Motorhead
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,
You win some, lose some, all the same to me,
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades
Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all the same to me,
Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split,
The Ace Of Spades
You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby,
I don't wanna live for ever,
And don't forget the joker!
Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades

That because it's just a ballsy classic rock song that will be turned up fucking LOUD!

I'd also have Eagle Fly Free by Helloween, Fucking Hostile by Pantera, Resurrection by Fear Factory, Run To the Hills by Iron Maiden, Johnny the Fox Meets Jimmy the Weed by Thin Lizzy, Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top aaaaaand Saltwater by Clannad playing as those are all songs anyone that knows me in real life will probably associate me with....perhaps not lol.

My list of songs changes all the time by the way.

As for dress code....everyone will be dressed just as I knew them. None of this shirt and tie shite. I didn't know you all with shirts and ties and nicely polished fucking shoes and I certainly don't want you all standing there looking like arseholes as I'm buried. Wear the tatty jeans you had on that morning...wear the scruffy tshirt with fried egg stains on the chest......for fucks sake be yourself!

As for the actual burial, I don't want buried in a graveyard next to everyone and anyone. I want somewhere different and out of the way from people. I'd be happy being buried on a cliff top overlooking the sea so whenever people came to visit they'd be soothed by the sound of the ocean plus have a top class view. I think I'll be cremated though so it may just be a little pot under a big lump of concrete that just looks like a random stone left there by the melting of some iceberg 70 million years ago........or something like that, I dunno

And yes Andriea, I have a fair idea that your funeral will probably be like a Rob Zombie film lol.....fire-eaters, freaks, people juggling knives, a cake tent of course and random industrial music playing through huge fucking speakers about the size of a house!

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

Oh Kenny how you know me, you missed the finale of me bursting into flames with fireworks going off at the same time though.

[Lucifer]

song to the siren...  i was already a bit sniffy, and now i'm swallowing the huge lump in my throat...   

HG, i'll finish learning how to do fire dancing properly, so i can do that at your funeral, if you'll return the favour.  i can get someone to do fire breathing (she could teach me, actually). 

what am i saying?  i'll be dead long before you.  oh well, it was a nice thought while it lasted... 

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

Well my Perfect Intro would be Walk Away by Cruxshadows since its very true.

"In this fading image
we'll carve our destiny
sometimes life is a cruel friend
sometimes that's what we need

I'll hold my eyes when the light comes in
I'll sell my silence for a song
now I won't die if you walk away
but I may not live

Now I watch as the rain comes down
to purify this pain
when mountains crumble and stars collide
I am what remains

There are lessons that sadness
can only teach
there are things that we must learn
now I won't die if you walk away
but I may not live "

Then after having led them into a false sense of security it will switch to something a little more shocking given the occasion (God Bless by Combichrist might even be in there accompanied by Forensic Crime Scene images on a slide show just for the hell of it) and the fun and games will begin.


Fire breathing is one of my fetishes i must admit
I was always meaning to get a guy i had associations with to teach me, but never got round to it, i always had something else come up. I will eventually get round to giving it a go though.

Yeah you can do fire dancing at my funeral and also keep up the sarcasm etc so they dont miss my fork tongued presence too much, and if your first i shall do some of my tricks and winde up the congregation in honour of you. 

what am i saying?  i'll be dead long before you.

Not necessarily.

Kenny if you guess how many items of chocs are in my fridge at this current moment you win a prize. 

[BadgerTom]

wtf poetry ?

why in the name of god r u being all poetic ?

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

we were discussing funerals and songs to be played at them earlier.
Keep up Tom lad.

[BadgerTom]

sorry i cudnt be arsed to look back i just click on the "view all unread posts" thingie and therefore skip all convo's lol


the post-whore that i am tells me too





u know u wanna....

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

u know u wanna....

Yeah dodge that pathetic event, I seen Wales and it confirmed my wanting to dodge it even more.

[BadgerTom]

:p meany

she blows goats, therefore you cannot trust her judgement captain

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

I blow goats? Does the devil count? Well it would still be better than being both welsh AND a sheep shagger by automatic.

[Jizz]

Interesting funeral Andriea. Wouldn't you want score of neds being beheaded on top of a hill too though?

They'd be close enough for people to see through binoculars, should they choose to watch, but also far enough away that they weren't really part of the festival of death!?

As for your fridge, I remember grabbing a few things from there one time while making us some cheese toasties and it was like a fucking ice cream van!

The prize really depends on how much thought I'm prepared to give this question to be honest. If all the prize is is another grope at your naked bottom then.........meh!

Ummmm, OK....lemme think.............................................*phones Bobby*.................................

Hmmmm, I'm sensing some stuff now, really getting a vibe from your fridge, I have rearranged all the furniture in my room so the chocolate can allign itself with the earths crust and the moving of the plates. Me and your fridge are now connected...sort of like Derek Acorah to those dead people in those castles in that program...*please do not open the fridge door as you will ruin the karma*.

OK, the vibrations are sending tingles down my spine, my nerves twitching with a cocoa based clarity, I can smell it and see it...and almost touch it, the contents of your fridge have now been revealed.

I'm thinking you have about a 3rd of a big bar of Bourneville left. It's on the middle shelf and has the wrapper folded underneath it to keep any stray food, like grated cheese, falling onto it. You also have 3 Galaxies, a Twix, 2 packets of Maltesers (which you never buy) and a Mars bar in the fridge door which keeps falling out under the guard rail.

You have 8 chocolatey items in the fridge.

Where is my prize, wench?!

[McGiver]

i love the word wench!

can you walk into a pub and literally say, "hey bar wench, can i get a pint?", without getting slapped in the face?

[BadgerTom]

i can, i called to this woman at our Union bar and said "Oi, serving wench, BEER" and she said, "Sure how much Head"... the rest is blissfull history xD

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

 

You forgot to add blue ribands to the equation Kenny.