Author Topic: How to not get a date  (Read 1107 times)

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Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2007, 09:41:47 PM »
Post your anti dating ads here.
Here's mine

I am 22 years old, but have the mind of a 12 year old. I have terrible mood swings, abysmal self esteem and shit genes. I am intollerant of people, and I cannot spell. I have hardly any hobbies or friends so I just whore the internet. I cannot concerntrate on anything whether I like it or not. My room is a mess and my organisational skills are appalling.

I have a bad anger problem which will probably result in a person getting punched in the face one day. I don't get along with internet people very well, and I like to eat sweet foods.

That's pretty much what I'm like, but I bet my mood swings and anger make you look like Mary Poppins.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

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Offline Icequeen

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2007, 10:04:09 PM »
Here you go:

Over 35 year old peri-menopausal woman suffering from sporatic episodes of "possible" tourettes seeks love-hate relationship with suitable male. Severe PMS mood swings on occasion, addicted to chocolate, cheesecake, and wine. In need of anger management classes, and anti-social. Sorry, weekends with the "thighmaster" haven't seen any noticeable results, "as is". Comes complete with one son well versed in the art of "lego" warfare.

Inquire at your own risk.

 :lol:






Offline Calandale

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2007, 10:05:07 PM »
Lego warfare sounds hot though....

Offline Icequeen

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2007, 10:07:36 PM »
Lego warfare sounds hot though....

Can really cause some horrible lacerations to the backside if you're not careful were you sit. ;)

Scrapheap

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2007, 10:32:35 PM »
Here you go:

Over 35 year old peri-menopausal woman suffering from sporatic episodes of "possible" tourettes seeks love-hate relationship with suitable male. Severe PMS mood swings on occasion, addicted to chocolate, cheesecake, and wine. In need of anger management classes, and anti-social. Sorry, weekends with the "thighmaster" haven't seen any noticeable results, "as is". Comes complete with one son well versed in the art of "lego" warfare.

Inquire at your own risk.

 :lol:







Just so long as you're not too fat, I might go for it.........

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2007, 10:41:46 PM »
Here you go:

Over 35 year old peri-menopausal woman suffering from sporatic episodes of "possible" tourettes seeks love-hate relationship with suitable male. Severe PMS mood swings on occasion, addicted to chocolate, cheesecake, and wine. In need of anger management classes, and anti-social. Sorry, weekends with the "thighmaster" haven't seen any noticeable results, "as is". Comes complete with one son well versed in the art of "lego" warfare.

Inquire at your own risk.

 :lol:







PMS Elle is better, she sexes then kills.  Exactly what I want.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

politics and evil
all one and the same
satan hides behind
another name

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2007, 02:01:34 AM »
Male, 22 year old suffering from severe depression and possible schizophrenia.  Severe PMS mood swings without the 'M' on a daily basis, needs to be calmed down with displays of your unexpected nudity.  Suffers from developmental disorder known as Asperger's Syndrome, which at times can seem more like low functioning autism.  Has a fairly thin profile but is also developing a bit of a gut.  Can't take out trash or do dishes, leaves trash everywhere when trash isn't taken out and eats off of disposable foodwear to avoid the issue altogether... except for the trash.  Also leaves science experiments everywhere.

Seeking woman 18-30 (possible older) to love and take care of me through these difficult times and enjoy life with when I feel better.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

politics and evil
all one and the same
satan hides behind
another name

Offline Icequeen

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #22 on: October 14, 2007, 08:32:09 AM »
Here you go:

Over 35 year old peri-menopausal woman suffering from sporatic episodes of "possible" tourettes seeks love-hate relationship with suitable male. Severe PMS mood swings on occasion, addicted to chocolate, cheesecake, and wine. In need of anger management classes, and anti-social. Sorry, weekends with the "thighmaster" haven't seen any noticeable results, "as is". Comes complete with one son well versed in the art of "lego" warfare.

Inquire at your own risk.

 :lol:







PMS Elle is better, she sexes then kills.  Exactly what I want.

Actually I also have a tatoo of a black widow on my right ankle.  ;)

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2007, 11:07:05 AM »
OK, but who's prettier?
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

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satan hides behind
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Offline El

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #24 on: October 14, 2007, 11:29:12 AM »
PMS Elle is better, she sexes then kills.  Exactly what I want.

Well then it's no fun!!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #25 on: October 14, 2007, 11:43:38 AM »
Female, 22 years old Portland, OR

Have autism spectrum disorder along with depression and anxiety. Also have an eating disorder so don't bother taking me out to eat or cooking me anything. I like watching Benny & Joon everyday and going to Spokane, no where else. Don't hurt me or you will face my wrath of vindictive.
My fashion is out of style so I wear clothes that are to young or too old because I don't care for it. I don't have lot of friends because I find lot of them boring so I am mostly by myself. I don't like lot of affection or kissing. Don't want sex all the time.

Seeking men 18-30

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #26 on: October 14, 2007, 12:28:34 PM »
PMS Elle is better, she sexes then kills.  Exactly what I want.

Well then it's no fun!!!!

Well, maybe if you sex me good enough I'll want more and not want to die.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

politics and evil
all one and the same
satan hides behind
another name

richard

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #27 on: October 14, 2007, 12:49:28 PM »
male 27 years old, extremely handsome with a nice rock collection. that is all

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2007, 01:35:26 PM »
Female, 22 years old Portland, OR

Have autism spectrum disorder along with depression and anxiety. Also have an eating disorder so don't bother taking me out to eat or cooking me anything. I like watching Benny & Joon everyday and going to Spokane, no where else. Don't hurt me or you will face my wrath of vindictive.
My fashion is out of style so I wear clothes that are to young or too old because I don't care for it. I don't have lot of friends because I find lot of them boring so I am mostly by myself. I don't like lot of affection or kissing. Don't want sex all the time.

Seeking men 18-30

nah, I couldn't even watch The Matrix on a daily basis (though I have watched it every day for one straight week, it was the first movie I bought and it was so immersive when I hooked my laptop up to my stereo and played it)
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

politics and evil
all one and the same
satan hides behind
another name

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: How to not get a date
« Reply #29 on: October 14, 2007, 02:01:42 PM »
 :neo:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.