I learnt that when people say that a dead loved one is watching over me they aren't literally constantly watching me. Like, when I am on the toilet for example. To think that for the past month I covered myself up at every opportunity when unclothed and suppressed every fart because of a lie. 
Now I can grieve a bit more easily and shit in peace.
I postponed grieving for my grandmother for about a decade, because I got told not to be sad, because she was not in pain any more, and safe with God. Somehow I felt guilty of missing her, as if I did not want her to be without pain. By the time I was around 20 I finally gave in to missing her a lot, and started to grieve.
The consolation never was meant to stop me from grieving. It did turn out that way for me though.
