My daughter has five "friends" over and they are so damn loud that I can not think, so this post is meaningless.
Hope your girly loud visit turns out as well as the girly noise did here.
Had a complete reset of my brain it seems, in an unexpected pleasant way, because of 4 very noisy giggly and loud girls.
Dreaded it at first, but it was great.
This is not great!
One of the little bitches, I have spotted as a user (she uses all the girls for her own gain) and my daughter does not have the "wherewithalll" to see what is happening to her, yet. I sent them all out of the house, away on their bikes.
The others are delightful little ladies, well mannered, intelligent, etc. (all are nine or ten years old, same age as my daughter, effectively) and they are all welcome here, but I am having trouble in knowing how to make her (my daughter) see through the user, without making my daughter want to go against me and see more of the user.
My daughter got befriended with a user like that, the girl was well behaved at first, but then the using bit becomes obvious. And, when my daughter did not comply any more, it turned into nasty name-calling from the side of the user. The arguments were vehement from both sides, my girl is a barrel of dynamite with a short fuse. But the nastiness came from the side of the user.
Tonight, I overheard my youngest with her visitor discuss girls like that. The other had had similar experiences. Both did not see what was happening then, but afterwards, they knew. Was good to hear them discuss this. They are "arming" themselves for the new year.
It seems that you are quite a bit further along with your daughter than I am with mine.
My daughter still looks to me as "her best friend," despite my wife trying over and over again to be a mum to her. She is most definitely "Daddy's girl" and I am doing my best. However, she is also less socially challenged than I am. Her instinct is to be the life of the party, so to speak and she can attract people to her. I have experience on my side, though, and my social abilities are fairly substantial, as long as "I feel in charge of the situation," in other words, I am still a punk when confronted by complicated social challenges. I fake it OK, but my daughter seems to have a knack that I do not have. Her innocence is possibly going to be her downfall, since she can not ever seem to see pure evil in people. I hope that this is not so.
I have a long history of being abused and I can now see it coming quite often. My aged cynicism has caused me to generally avoid social situations, but she will not. Her innocence is one of greatest charms, but it also makes her vulnerable to those like this user girl I was talking about.
I have a full expectation that she will learn from this relationship, but I seriously hate to sit by and watch her being hurt. If I interfere though, she will not learn this lesson well. She deserves to have a strong enough father who will wait until she needs to cry it all out before he begins to step up to her need.
It is difficult, but I really believe that I need to stay out of this and I just need to wait until she needs me.
