Post what you're thinking right now.

[Blasted]

^Nah, she's leaving this year and I'm not really into her.     As for zomg, don't bother unless you feel like being entertained.  Most of it is just pea flauting his insecurites and crying when I defend myself.

[odeon]

Wow this girl really likes me. I hope shes okay with being so attracted to an autistic man. I've never been the warmest individual, and she is. Shes extremely nice and sweet, a smile-at-everyone type. I seriously hope I am not too cold for her.

I hope it goes well.

[Pyraxis]

Oh yes, certainly. I just don't think it's the case with Callaway.

Well, I'm seeing it here, but not in a major way - just a way that I thought was worth pointing out. It's not really possible for any person to escape bias, so I'm questioning, and encouraging questioning.

It seems to me that you often put yourself in the position where you're the only one defending someone like P, where it's pretty much a fact that he crossed not just one line but several.

I do. I'm not stopping anyone from condemning him, though, just giving my own opinion and alternate perspective.

Why does a soft spot make you wonder about whether I have difficulty empathizing? That's empathy right there.

Because that soft spot is more of a knee-jerk reaction than empathy, it's about observing a situation where most people have problems with an individual and say so, and defending the individual because others don't. It feels like a game you like to play.

How are you distinguishing between "a knee-jerk reaction" and empathy? It's a conscious decision rather than some kind of instinct like mirror neurons, but that's part of what being on the autism spectrum is about. It's not a game. It's a repeatedly held value.

[Callaway]

*shrug* It's not just rooting for the underdog. I genuinely like the guy. And I genuinely dislike the way Callaway, especially, tries to paint people as terrible villains beyond the scope of what they've done. If she just called him an ass, I might not care as much, but not only has she tried to lump him into a group that it's politically correct to look down on in our culture (so called "stalkers"), she's also tried to discredit anyone who defends him ("Nor are you the first person who has defended him and made excuses for his behavior only to have him turn on you.") I take that personally, because I'm not making excuses, I'm giving my well-reasoned opinion.

My argument style is to find the facts as they have been posted on the board and then sometimes to do independent research based on these facts.

You could argue that Peaguy doesn't believe that he has acted like a stalker or that you personally don't believe that he has acted like a stalker but I could argue that at least some of the people he has gone after believe that he has.

You could argue whether "stalker" is the best word to describe someone who becomes obsessed with people and situations involving them and takes his disagreement with them beyond words on the internet to try to cause the person to have IRL problems.  Perhaps "obsessive pursuer" is a better description of his behavior.

I would refer you to this site:  http://www.sexualharassmentsupport.org/TypesofStalkers.html

I think that he begins as the Incompetent Suitor for many of the women he becomes fixated on, then he switches to the Resentful Stalker after they reject him and his pursuit of some males also falls into this category.

[Pyraxis]

Or I could argue that even dangerous people have a place in the world.



(Nice straw men, btw.  )



I could make other arguments about the obsessive and futile pursuit of safety, but frankly, I doubt anything useful would come of it.

[odeon]

Oh yes, certainly. I just don't think it's the case with Callaway.

Well, I'm seeing it here, but not in a major way - just a way that I thought was worth pointing out. It's not really possible for any person to escape bias, so I'm questioning, and encouraging questioning.

It's not a bad thing to be biased, IMO. And anyway you can't not be.

It seems to me that you often put yourself in the position where you're the only one defending someone like P, where it's pretty much a fact that he crossed not just one line but several.

I do. I'm not stopping anyone from condemning him, though, just giving my own opinion and alternate perspective.

I didn't say you tried to stop anyone. But IMO, what you do goes beyond an alternative perspective. It feels as if it's a game you like to play. And no, it's not something that can be confused with empathy.

Why does a soft spot make you wonder about whether I have difficulty empathizing? That's empathy right there.

Because that soft spot is more of a knee-jerk reaction than empathy, it's about observing a situation where most people have problems with an individual and say so, and defending the individual because others don't. It feels like a game you like to play.

How are you distinguishing between "a knee-jerk reaction" and empathy? It's a conscious decision rather than some kind of instinct like mirror neurons, but that's part of what being on the autism spectrum is about. It's not a game. It's a repeatedly held value.

Empathy isn't a conscious decision, afaik, and that's enough of a distinction, really. But what you do doesn't really feel like an autistic, lack of ToM kind of thing, either. It feels a lot more like a game, devil's advocate with a twist, maybe.

But it doesn't matter, really. I find it interesting how you often put yourself in that position, that's all.

[El]

Or I could argue that even dangerous people have a place in the world.



(Nice straw men, btw.  )



I could make other arguments about the obsessive and futile pursuit of safety, but frankly, I doubt anything useful would come of it.

Do you think we're saying Pea should be removed from society, or something?

I don't quite think Callaway's using straw men, there- she's pointing out that she's using the term 'stalker' in a way consistent with how it's currently defined.  Are you arguing that Pea isn't a stalker, that you dislike the definition of 'stalker,' or that you dislike the term 'stalker' because it's perjorative?

As to the obsessive and futile pursuit of safety- I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm wondering if you mean something like "You are never fully safe and never will be."  This is true, but it's part of pretty basic human nature (in most cases) to seek safety despite this.  That's kinda a useful thing for survival.

[Blasted]

I love whispery, raspy vocals.

I reckon its pointless to discuss Pea and his actions since he feeds off on it and loves the fact that people are paying attention to him 

[El]

I love whispery, raspy vocals.

I reckon its pointless to discuss Pea and his actions since he feeds off on it and loves the fact that people are paying attention to him 

Well, I'd say he legitimately doesn't like it so much when people tap his buttons the wrong way, but it does encourage him/make him prone to acting out more.

[Pyraxis]

I dunno, this whole debate seems to have gotten pretty futile. I said what I wanted to say.

[odeon]

/shrugs

[Blasted]

I feel like painting on my white Doc Martens but dunno which paint would be suitable.

[Frolic_Fun]

I dunno, this whole debate seems to have gotten pretty futile. I said what I wanted to say.

I've to get my two cents in here.

First of all, I love how gus thinks that I've betrayed her. I told her many times that I'm not getting involved between her and pea yet she kept whining about it. Since I personally think the whole situation is utterly ridiculous, I just blocked her. Why? She's overreacting and I just don't want to hear about it, also the fact that she has gotten on my nerves quite a lot recently - this isn't to do with the whole PMing soph thing at all. Constant moaning on how people fuck her over, trying too hard to be something she's not, attention seeking, obsessing (or at least giving the impression of obsessing) over people etc. She's a complete and utter wreck, all over the place without clear guidance or common sense. In my opinion she needs professional help, not a fat autistic spazz like myself that hasn't a clue at all. I can't give her the answers that will instantly make her life better, my advice is usually piss poor. Also the fact that I've my own problems to deal with like everyone else, so there's no point of her to moan about things like this. It's a bit self-centred really.

Pea did what he did on his own will, I will not criticize him for it since it was his choice. Although it did surprise me since he decided to go ahead and PM soph, even though he initially told me that he wouldn't when we talked about it. I will not hate him for it because like I said, the whole situation is silly. I however agree with most of his points he made about gus because it is what I witnessed firsthand, but unlike him I wasn't planning to PM soph or anything. I was going to simply walk away without causing drama and leave her be, and if she continued to moan I'd just tell her to fuck off and block her. If she was looking for a fight after that, she wouldn't get one.

It's funny though, the majority of you follow one side of the story without looking at the other side. Make up your own minds and don't buy into the sympathy game. Sure pea can be a ginger twat at times, but he's ultimately harmless. He's hardly "scum", despite what gus said. He speaks his mind about someone without giving a shit if it causes offense and isn't afraid of losing friends because of that. I respect that.

[Blasted]

Fucking immature but what the hell: 

[Frolic_Fun]