gus, of course it's your decision, and no-one here can take that away from you. what people are saying is that they
care about you, enough so they want you to be around, and not to harm yourself.
you've had enough harm done to you by people who were taking their own fucked-up stuff out on you, and you don't want to be the same as they are, by continuing that harm.
just remember what we said about that little part of you which won't let go, eh? and use that part to sort out all the shit going round in your head and your heart, because most of it belongs to other people, and the bit that's yours is a direct result of
their shit.
people on here will listen, hon, cos we think you're worth it. and that can keep you going until you're strong enough to work with someone to sort things out. fuck knows you've reason enough to feel so bad, given everything that's happened.
we're rooting for you, kiddo.
and if you're ugly, i must be a gargoyle.