I really hate it when I'm right, sometimes. This is turning out to be ugly. I fucking KNEW, instantly when I saw it! "THIS IS FUCKED! THIS IS NOT GOOD," were my thoughts. This is TOO MUCH! It goes beyond overload!
SHe should know better! she shouldfuckingknowbetter.
this is alll sounding very cryptic, I know, but it is my son's birthday and my wife went completely fucking nuts with his cake. When I came from work and first saw it, all my peripheral vision went black and all incoming sound died as it tried to enter my ears. I could only blink in slow motion, with my mouth hanging open. My eyes making scratching sensations was the first sound that began to return. I was stunned and I still had not exhaled in too long, when I finally squeaked out a very small, "Oh, damn!"
My son loves dragons and she went totally overboard building a dragon cake sculpture. It took ages for my eyes to finally begin to tear loose from it in stages, as if Velcro was holding them stuck in the scaly texture of the icing. She made him a Frost Dragon, a very special and unique creature from the folk tales of people who live in the Arctic and one of my son's favorite "dragon friends."
The cake was made in the shape of a dragon curled around itself, at rest. She took a white cake recipe to make the body and white icing for the scales and details. White chocolate was overcooked so she could pour it into hard sheets, then cut it into wings, with more details drawn in with darker chocolate. She made triangular fins that she placed down its back and as a frill around its head. Inside was strawberries, so it would bleed when slain. (this was the straw that broke the camel's back and him into tears.)
He had objected to touching it instantly. He would NOT slay it himself and did NOT want anyone else to, either. He was beginning to cry from some place deep inside and I was trying to console him when Mommy cut into it. We totally lost him when he saw the insides. Yes, he reads books about princes and kings and the slaying of evil dragons all the time, but frost dragons are his friends. I know I have had this conversation a number of times with my wife about which dragons are "angels" and which dragons are "devils." For some reason she missed the point and made a cake of a good dragon friend to be slain.
He wouldn't eat any of it. Last I talked to him, he wanted to be left alone so he could finish having a funeral in his mind for his friend.
Of course, this all sounds really fucking EMO and maybe he doesn't identify with people all that well, but he instantly personifies certain things. He is immediately and spontaneously attached from within to certain THINGS and they ARE real. GAWD, how clearly I remember being like this as a boy.
It was only after I began to recover myself, after first seeing it that I realized that it was a frost dragon and I warned her that this is not good. She dismissed me. I should have followed my instincts and looked in on what her plans were for his dragon cake, but I didn't. Instead, I let her go completely off the deep end and out of rope range without even trying to manage her desire to overdo it and over-achieve (overstimming all of us, usually, in the process).
Honestly, I can truly appreciate what she made. It was an absolutely gorgeous, brilliantly conceived, perfectly executed cake and it should have been entered into a contest, but it was devastating to my young son's overactive imagination. He will recover quickly, though. In fact he just came out of his room and told me that it was OK if I wanted some of his cake, but he wasn't going to have any.
Anyway that's the short version of what I've been thinking for the last hour.
Why don't I follow my instincts, better.
</emo dad>
