If I ever meet the person who came up with malware, i'm going to pluck every hair off their body one at a time. Pour hot wax on their genitals. Insert needles everywhere into their body down to the bone, and through the cartiladge of the joints. Peeling their flesh off little by little over the course of a year and a half and drip lemon juice onto the exposed skin. Put a nail in through the bottom of their head, and bolt their tongue down. And I'll attempt to severe the muscles of their eyes and pull their eyes out and set them up to look down at their body and face while this is all going on. (Have to keep the eyes moist though)
And I will feed them erythromycin daily. As well as occasionally giving them a dose of heroin. Partially in order for them to develop an addiction to it, and partially so that their own endorphin mechanism will weaken so that everything hurts more. I will keep the tempreture in the room higher than normal and make it super humid. And I will be playing the sound of nails on chalk board, the sound of a monitor on but not a computer, and any other disturbing sounds I can think of.
And I will scratch a fork against their teeth, and tickle incessantly whatever nerves they have left.
* Nomaken would continue but the nice young men in white jackets have arrived so I gotta go.
