I wonder just how often people do think that they're not 'true aspies' because of the emotional needs they have. After being hurt yet again by someone I considered a friend I went through a period of telling myself that I didn't need friends because I was an aspie so I shouldn't need those kind of bonds. I tried to stop myself from getting close to people so that I wouldn't be hurt again, but eventually I realised that I did feel the need to socialise but on my own terms and that didn't make me any 'less' of an aspie.
Times, I feel like a real... oversensitive moron lol
I can relate to that
I get very bitter when my attempts to make friends go wrong and vow never to try again. I mean, it is only this summer I started going out and seeing real people as I stayed in my room on the net all day, every day before. It was safer, though I still had major problems obviously as I joined forums for spiritual people, who would 'punish' me for speaking out and upsetting others. On the rare occasions I have fallen for a man, it has backfired horribly. My recent one was, as mentioned I believe, another aspie, and he misinterpreted every move I made in my attempts to make my feelings known. I made my feelings explicit in letters... I became a stalker to him. I took my camera in to show people...I upset him pparently because he thinks I was taking pictures of him. He hovered around me and gave mixed signals, yet doesnt want anyone and wants to be alone and only wants to talk to people on his terms. I think I was rather creative, and downright amusing in my approach. I mean, my first effort involved getting a load of T shirts printed, with various song lyrics on that expressed my feelings. When I heard he had referred to me as 'that weird woman', for example, I got one made up saying 'Not weird...just different. Look in the mirror before judging others'. Afterall, this guy walks around wearing a knitted teacosy with knitted bees on it for chrisakes. Next, I started waiting in the common he walked through to go home...in summer when it was still light. I remember several incidences of darting behind trees so I could be near him without risking being shouted at or told to fuck off. I remember diving into some trees when he seemed to be walking in my direction as he had already told someone he would flush my head down the toilet if I spoke to him lol.
I started writing poems and leaving them by the post he sat on nightly before he went home. and he took them home with him too as I caught him looking for them one night. I was very creative in my approach. but alas, I have come to the conclusion that I am not even suited to another Aspie and that I will most likely always be safer alone.