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Author Topic: Post what you're thinking right now.  (Read 384659 times)

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Offline Eclair

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9180 on: June 09, 2007, 02:12:53 AM »
:fish:
It's not funny.  Although maybe...I do feel a bit gutted.

Boom, boom.

People been misunderstanding you? I do that a lot, particularly with people who have sudden mood/mode shifts. Since I a) cant spot genuine malice well and b) can't tell if its my communication problem or someone else's easily, I generally assume its benign and carry on being right with folk unless someone is clearly sneering at me. In which case they can fuck off.  :-\

*slides booze down bar and misses*
Thanks...did you mean to spill beer all over me?  Shall go and get myself a drink then and assume it's your clumsiness and not intentional.

Offline Eclair

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9181 on: June 09, 2007, 02:14:28 AM »
A hell of a lot smarter than how I handle
it. I figure that if there's any way of taking
something poorly, it was intended.
Cal, I can't even respond to someone saying the L word...what chance do I have?

duncvis

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9182 on: June 09, 2007, 02:14:45 AM »
I was talking to both of you. I'm generally pretty direct, and my mood/intention is usually quite clear. this is where i have difficulty in understanding others/being understood, and the more changeable or oblique someone is in the communication style the harder it is to fathom them out. so I keep it superficial or don't bother a lot.  :-\

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9183 on: June 09, 2007, 01:48:12 PM »
where's odeon?  i need a cuddle and a snog...   :(

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9184 on: June 09, 2007, 02:06:10 PM »
SHIT!
This is going to be another long one.

Summary:
I have a family (stable, mainly because of the efforts of my extremely strong wife) with two young kids.
I discovered two months ago that I have a son from a prior shagwankish relationship from my youth.
I'm meeting my eldest son next weekend.

I'm such a FUCKING emptyhead. I, mistakenly and with no thoughts of the calender, set up the meeting of my never-yet-met child of twenty eight years on "Father's Day" without thinking it through. I was so anxious to get some sort of meet-up organized, that I did not even think of the calender or my currrent responsibilities or how some of this might affect them. I was selfish. I wanted to meet him. I pressed forward with my typical tunnel visioned prowess.

I fucked up, by not thinking of the upcoming "special" day, but I am going forward with the scheduled meet-up. I am a heel in my own house.
Now, my family will be without a Father on the day intended to honor all fathers (next weekend - they were making plans). The son I have never met grew up with no father and Father's Day is a non-event to him. This was a mistake and I am a self-loathing "whatever" man, at present with too many irons in the fire.
OH, Self, how I hate thee!
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9185 on: June 09, 2007, 02:17:32 PM »
SHIT!
This is going to be another long one... etc.

whoops.  yep, sounds familiar (not the same as you, but the sort of thing i do).  well, i'm going to suggest a small thing, and then i'll fuck off before i patronise you.  first of all, set yourself a time limit to beat yourself up about the cockup - i have a PhD in beating myself up, and one has to do it for a bit.  but only for a bit.  after you've shut that inner critic up (at least temporarily), see if there's the  possibility of a Plan B.

fucking off now - quite happy to talk more, but ain't going to come over all schoolteachery.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9186 on: June 09, 2007, 03:55:08 PM »
Schoolteachery? I am immune. ::)

There will be no Plan B. I am going through with things as we have drafted them, despite my feelings of guilt, concerning my youngsters and their Father's Day festivities being dis'ed.
I do not know where I will be after next weekend, but I may have a new family member. He has been very careful and explicit (He's a grown man, for god's sake) in expressing how he does not want anything from me for the previous years of neglect (my choice of wording), but he is as curious as I am about who he is. (He's high functioning autistic, by the way and works for the power company as an grid engineer. He's way smarter than his high school drop-out father.)
Setting up the meeting was quite stressful for both of us. I am not changing it, again.
The rest of the world will have to wait ....

Thanks for your suggestion and I am almost done pounding myself..
« Last Edit: June 09, 2007, 03:58:30 PM by MarkingDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9187 on: June 09, 2007, 03:58:31 PM »
Setting up the meeting was quite stressful for both of us. I am not changing it, again.
The rest of the world will have to wait ....

bloody good for you, Dawg.   :clap:   ;D

Offline odeon

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9188 on: June 09, 2007, 04:08:06 PM »
where's odeon?  i need a cuddle and a snog...   :(

At your service, now.  :-* Sorry, I was out all day trying to fix a stupid water pump. Turned out the motor's fried.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9189 on: June 09, 2007, 04:10:02 PM »
stupid machinery.

do i get the cuddle and snog now, so i can go to bed?  wheedle, wheedle.

Offline QuirkyCarla

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9190 on: June 09, 2007, 04:15:22 PM »
Good luck with the meeting, DirtDawg.  :)

Offline odeon

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9191 on: June 09, 2007, 04:35:15 PM »
stupid machinery.

do i get the cuddle and snog now, so i can go to bed?  wheedle, wheedle.

Yes you do, but seeing that you're now offline, I worry...  :-\
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Bookworm

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9192 on: June 09, 2007, 06:04:23 PM »
That it is time I went away from the computer. it is ruling my life.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9193 on: June 09, 2007, 06:23:11 PM »
Good luck with the meeting, DirtDawg.  :)
Thanks, QC. This whole thing has been haunting me for a while, now. I feel that I am on a starting block tensed for a sprint, but the starting pistol never reports.
Making definitive plans feels almost like rest.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: Post what you're thinking right now.
« Reply #9194 on: June 09, 2007, 08:02:51 PM »
Good luck, DD.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.