I wish the Sex forum wasn't dead.
I wish sex wasn't dead.

(me)(anyone getting any)
Please forgive me if this is a clueless question, but have you tried "date night," where you hire a sitter and go out for a date with your wife on a regular basis, maybe once a week?
I think it helps you remember the part of the relationship that is not about the kids, even though you may find yourselves discussing them on your dates.
We can't find a sitter who can handle our daughter, but we go out for lunch together when we can while she is in school.