Duncvis Theory: an alternative explanation

[Lucifer]

if your limbs shrink when you wank, how the fuck do you manage to reach, after a while?  or do they regenerate, given a period of recuperation?  in which case, we're all saved!

cyclical wanking.  can you imagine wandering about, looking at the length of people's arms, and knowing at exactly what point they're long enough to start again?

even better, you could do it by height - the longer the leg, the less of an Onanist.

bloody marvellous.  i shall be looking at people's leg length all day and laughing like a drain (i'm at Uni today, so should be interesting...).

and before you ask, my legs are very long indeed... 

[duncvis]

Given that balloons often display a slow leak, it seems reasonable to speculate that if disused, the brain and genitals will gradually 'deflate' allowing the limbs and torso to expand gradually back to their normal size. the actual 'state' within this abstinence/masturbating-like-a-wild-monkey-while-learning-by-heart-the-works-of-notable-20th-century-physicists cycle can only be determined by experts. Would anyone care to post pictures for assessment? I will have to do it. None of you possess my insight or experience in such matters, but perhaps given a few years, I can show you.

[Happeh]

Ok, so here goes. Your body is made up of a series of interconnected balloons. Now based on -
*inspiration from McJagger's extensive knowledge of balloon animals
and
*Happeh's assertion that each action produces an equal and opposite reaction
it is possible to reach the following alarming conclusion:

Thinking too much (thus exercising your brain) will make your brain swell and become larger, which must therefore lead to your genitals withering!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

This suggests that we need to convince our erudite and highly knowledgeable friend Happeh, he of the superior intellect and the only true thinker among us, that he is in danger of suffering physical damage from his habit.

This is therefore a warning to you all: THINKING CAN MAKE YOUR DICK SHRINK.

Discuss.

You think you are funny.

You have a choice. Your dick or your brain. That is one of the things I am trying to get thru to you. Make all the jokes you want. The last laugh will be on you. When you are in a wheelchair drooling with Alzheimers.

[duncvis]

LOL!!!!!!11111111 ROFLCOPTER!!!



Its been nice having you Happeh, really. Your theories have brought a tear to my eye. Haven't you given us up as a bad job yet?





Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

[McGiver]

You have a choice. Your dick or your brain. That is one of the things I am trying to get thru to you. Make all the jokes you want. The last laugh will be on you. When you are in a wheelchair drooling with Alzheimers.
 
 
 

i always heard that alzheimers was a result of smoking weed through aluminum cans?

[Lucifer]

You have a choice. Your dick or your brain. That is one of the things I am trying to get thru to you. Make all the jokes you want. The last laugh will be on you. When you are in a wheelchair drooling with Alzheimers.

well, i already have a brain, so could i please plump for the dick, please?  will it be delivered, and do i get a choice of gift wrap?

oh, hang on - i see you mean i can choose between my dick and my brain.  hmmmm, well, that means there's no dilemma, then, so i can happily wank myself into dementia, doesn't it?  or not.  bit confused, now - probably early signs of pre-senile dementia.  oh well - no point in stopping now, then, is there:  i'm already well on the way, due to my solitary sexual proclivities.

oh, and it's spelled "through".

[ozymandias]

The angle of the dangle and the heat of the meat are directly proportional to the mass of the ass and the cube of the boob!

I think, therefore I am............I think?    Damn, I'll never achieve my life's ambition to be a drooling, senile old fart in a wheelchair, guess I'd better go choke the monkey some more!

[Leto729]

You think you are funny.

You have a choice. Your dick or your brain. That is one of the things I am trying to get thru to you. Make all the jokes you want. The last laugh will be on you. When you are in a wheelchair drooling with Alzheimers.

I have a grandmother that has Alzheimer's Happeh she had been married for years too. I am pretty sure she did not masturbate either. Alzheimer's maybe more genetic than from masturbation in the end.

[Triste]

Dunc's right.  Thinking DOES make the dick shrink.  There's a biological reason for this:  the brain needs blood and oxygen, and so does the penis to become engorged.  In order for the penis to grow to gargantuan (ahem) widths and lengths, the brain has to give up some of its blood.  As blood flows to the penis, blood and oxygen are taken away from the brain.  And vice versa.  One could argue that this simple biological fact of a finite amount of blood being required to perfuse two very important pieces of anatomy is the reason for the fall of western civilization.

[Leto729]

I found out married men testosterone levels drop if they are married and if they handle infant child it drop further. It says it because of this they say with the married with a mate. If they divorce though testostrone level go back up.

[Lucifer]

'ere triste - welcome back! 

[McGiver]

I found out married men testosterone levels drop if they are married and if they handle infant child it drop further. It says it because of this they say with the married with a mate. If they divorce though testostrone level go back up.

damn, i also enjoy thinking.
my pecker is hovering about the 1.8 inch mark.

but the good news is, when ever i visit this site, namely flo's posts, my dick grows exponentially.

[hiroshima]

In order for the penis to grow to gargantuan (ahem)

Lolololololololololololol!!!!!!!

[Leto729]

I found out married men testosterone levels drop if they are married and if they handle infant child it drop further. It says it because of this they say with the married with a mate. If they divorce though testostrone level go back up.

damn, i also enjoy thinking.
my pecker is hovering about the 1.8 inch mark.

but the good news is, when ever i visit this site, namely flo's posts, my dick grows exponentially.

Lets all hope so in the end.

[Scrapheap]

bump!