Maybe I'm not explaining myself on the talking dirty part. I can't take it from someone who I think is inferior to me, inteligence wise. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true...I can't help my little quirks.
This was a while back when I was still figuring out what I liked in bed, so in this instance, I went for looks rather than intelligence....he is probably the person who convinced me to always go for intelligence or it wasn't going to stand a chance in the sex department.
Does that make sense??
I kind of understand this- I personally just don't find stupidity attractive. Its not like people need to be a genius but I prefer people who can challenge me away from the bedroom.
Doesn't this rather go against the whole 'fling' thing?
I'm pretty sure that someone who matched my interests in
and out of bed, would cause me to fall for them.
Like I said before our relationship doesn't seem to fit any of the appropriate labels- an 'open relationship' tends to imply that any other relationships must be sex only, but I don't think that's always realistic. Sure you can set ground rules about what you can offer in a secondary relationship but you can't always predict how you'll feel about someone or something in advance. So whilst we don't have the rule that all secondary relationships must be sex only, the 'polyamorous' label doesn't really fit either since neither of us go looking for other romantic relationships.
People tend to assume that if you have a relationship like ours its just an excuse to shag around , we've even had people claiming that our sex life wasn't all that great if we felt we had to have other partners, or that we shouldn't have got married if that's what we wanted. But its really not about that- we have been together since we were 17 and married since we were 20, we've grown together and whilst we got married as a commitment to our relationship neither of us feel that marriage should equal ownership. For anyone who knows how important sex is to me the idea that we'd have lasted so long without fantastic sex is laughable really.
Because we have such a strong relationship we don't see having this lifestyle as risking what we already have. Neither of us generally seek out other partners, but we don't close ourselves off from the idea that from time to time we might meet someone that we want to have a secondary relationship with- whether that's of the sex-only or 'friend with benefits' type.
