GA and renaeden hate each other.

[Pyraxis]

maybe it's just that I have also been met with unresponsive/stony silence in fights with a few people, and that drives me up a fucking tree, (plus it is very unlikely to get silence in return if I'm so pissed I'm not able to keep myself from making the situation/silence worse) so throwing humor in there is at the very least a lesser evil- at least then I have some idea of what the other person is thinking/feeling.  If they decide to go into Standby mode, I wind up with no idea of how I can defuse.

I'm one of those types that goes totally unresponsive when I hit breaking point - walk out if at all possible, and go kind of catatonic if not. I'm guilty of driving people temporarily nuts that way. I find it hard to understand or sympathize with people who don't want to allow me to do that. I don't know what makes anyone think they have a right to dictate someone else's actions, or constrain someone against their will.

I probably risk pissing you off with this, but can't you take care of your own mental status? Why would you put it on the other person?

[Pyraxis]

if the fight is with a guy we just like to pound it out.  but sometimes with women they need some space to cool off.

Interesting, again. Probably speaks to the differences in gender expectations. I think a lot of women feel they are not allowed to pound back, so if they're not given space, they automatically lose the fight because they're pulling their punches in the heat of the moment.

[Peter]

I never break things when I get angry.  I'm always very controlled.

[SovaNu]

if the fight is with a guy we just like to pound it out.  but sometimes with women they need some space to cool off.

Interesting, again. Probably speaks to the differences in gender expectations. I think a lot of women feel they are not allowed to pound back, so if they're not given space, they automatically lose the fight because they're pulling their punches in the heat of the moment.

that's such bullshit. women do pound back. what the hell does pounding mean anyway?

[SovaNu]

if someone doesn't respond to my anger then i get even angrier. my mom gives me the silent treatment which makes me just scream more cuz i feel like she should be yelling back.

[Pyraxis]

Interesting, again. Probably speaks to the differences in gender expectations. I think a lot of women feel they are not allowed to pound back, so if they're not given space, they automatically lose the fight because they're pulling their punches in the heat of the moment.

that's such bullshit. women do pound back. what the hell does pounding mean anyway?

I could be wrong - my sample size is pretty small. Clearly some women don't pound back though, or else why would some people hold different expectations for the two genders? I know that personally I've had strong conditioning not to fight, and used to often wish to be a boy so that I could be free to physically fight. Stereotypes, I know, and I'm correcting the problem. But the stereotypes do exist.

In this case I meant pounding as in instinctive emotional behavior - not just physical. Yelling insults, breaking things, hitting, all the spontaneous and potentially damaging things people do in fights.

[SovaNu]

not all men pound back. there's always some people who don't do what the rest of people do.

[duncvis]

Angered and frustrated and put my fist throw the pantry door. Literally, I hit the door so hard that I severely cracked the far side of it.


The front of the pantry door.


And the back of it.

How will you fix this?

I did exactly the same thing myself some years ago (I was frustrated cos I'd knocked half the plates off the draining board and they'd smashed) - I fixed it by filling the hole with Fimo , gluing a sheet of paper over it and painting over it. meh, I was in a rush cos we were moving out. 

[Tesla]

I don't pound back.  I want to, but don't.  When I don't control my rage it scares my wife, so I try to keep it in check.  I tighten my fists, clench my jaw and hold it back.  I haven't found it to help the situation.

[El]

In general, statistcially, men are more physically violent; women are more verbally/emotionally/relationally violent.  (There's a seinfeld quote about it but I can't be assed to find it)  When I was younger (a troubled teen), I'd physically fight with people, but now I'm very very much aware of the many discouraging factors, such as the facts that 1.  I could get arrested and 2.  I'm 5'2" and could probably get flattened by the other guy.

Oh, it would initially piss me off no matter what (has when it's happened in family fights), but I tend to stay pissed even when the issue has been resolved, so it's not just delivery, it's timing.  Trying to derail the argument/issue at hand is dumb; trying to defuse a situation is a good idea.  If it was ultimately to break lingering/unnecessary tension and/or as a peace offering, I don't think I'd wind up being mad about that for very long.  Then again, maybe it's just that I have also been met with unresponsive/stony silence in fights with a few people, and that drives me up a fucking tree, (plus it is very unlikely to get silence in return if I'm so pissed I'm not able to keep myself from making the situation/silence worse) so throwing humor in there is at the very least a lesser evil- at least then I have some idea of what the other person is thinking/feeling.  If they decide to go into Standby mode, I wind up with no idea of how I can defuse.

i would agree with the timing.

if the fight is with a guy we just like to pound it out.  but sometimes with women they need some space to cool off.  and immediate resolution is not a good idea.  i suggest when dealing with females to let them stew in their own guilt for a bit, then approach them about resolution.



ha!

bad idea with me- if I feel guilty, I sometimes start sniping at the other person to tell me a way to make it up to them. 

[Alex179]

I used to break shit when I was much younger.   Sometimes with my friends it gets into a physical fight, but not often at all.   My brother and I have fought plenty of times, and I normally end up hurting him and regret it later.   I hurt my friends play fighting usually, I seem to lack the control at times necessary to avoiding hurting someone.   I have choked my brother out before actually, but that was an actual fight that escalated from play fighting (he hit me first lol).   Physical fights happen when someone runs out of things to win an argument and have to resort to violence to get some satisfaction.   I found out a long time ago that long hair is a weapon to be used against someone, just grab their hair and pull them into a chokehold or knee them in the face.   That is why most people I know that do fight, have really short hair.

When I would argue with my first girlfriend (which is fighting kinda) I would have to leave sometimes to collect myself.   I never had a physical fight with her, though she has pissed me off more times than anyone in my life with the exception of family members.  Our arguments were usually over trivial shit, nothing serious until the last 6 months or so of our relationship.   Those got pretty heated but never escalated due to me just leaving her parents house and not talking to her for a while.   I would do my best to get in a hurtful last word and then leave.   She liked to playfight and was overall a playful person, but she only threw a VCR tape at me once and never tried to seriously hit me or anything (she claimed to be afraid of really pissing me off).   That is funny because I have seen her hit her own mother with a phone before.   She should have known I would not hit her back.  Maybe it was due to her witnessing me fighting my brother and seeing how vicious I could be with a family member.

I have had my mother slap the shit out of me before and I just walk away and do nothing.   She likes to dig her fingernails into my arm and scream at me since she is too stupid to really win an argument.  My dad though has gotten his ass beaten severely twice due to slapping me.   My father is afraid of me actually, well that is according to my brother.  He is extremely uncoordinated and really has a low tolerance for pain, add in the fact that he is out of shape and you can figure why he is easy to beat the shit out of.   His older brother though is a massive ape sized bully and picks on everyone in the family.   Total asshole who joined the Massachusetts State Police just to beat people up supposedly.  I have seen him physically hurt every male member of my family at least once to the point of embarrassment.

[Peter]

not all men pound back. there's always some people who don't do what the rest of people do.

I'm a non-poundy guy.

[Leto729]

This is what I have witnessed with Tanya so far she can get very moody. I am going to have to watch what I say around Her because she gets moody very quickly. Then She does not what to talk to Me about whatever is bothering Her from what I have said to Her to make Her very moody in the end. It takes a lot joking around to get Her to start talking about what is bothering Her from what I have done to Her. So far the humor I have done has always worked so far with Her in the end.

It has been 17 years since the last real girlfriend I have had. So I am learning about what ticks off Tanya in the end. I don't do this to push Her buttons or anything like that. The relationship is still young at this stage yet.

Example We went to a picnic today with some friends. My meds where at low ebb and got a bit tired plus I also did not sleep a lot last night either. So I wanted to take a quick nap. She got a bit worried about Me. After We got to the picnic site she got a bit moody with Me. I had to go find Her and tell her it was time to eat. She did not want to come with Me. At this point I had not used humor yet and she even got even more moody with Me. After awhile I used humor and got Her to relax and tell Me what was bothering Her and what I did to get Her in this moody state. the rest of the picnic went find after that in the end.

Still learning about Her very much.

[McGiver]

great post kevv. 

[Tesla]

Why do You capitalize almost all Nouns and Pronouns?