If that don't work she could consider Billy Ray Cyrus. Just imagine his big cracker spawn head plastered at the end of her posts!
Another Hick's fan?
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Hmm, how about the town of Venango, Nebraska? The have a laundromat there, so she can obsess about that, and a bar, so she can obsess about the bar, and the best part is, that's ALL they have there!