Is kindness a weakness?

["couldbecousin"]

Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.

I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.

I try to think of it this way ...

I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.

 I often say of my oldest friend that she is compassionate without being a pushover. 

['Butterflies']

there is a difference between acting nice and being kind

There is a big difference, and it's got me into trouble my whole life. Overall, I'd say I'm a reasonable person. I'm kind, but I can be nasty to people I dislike.

I have always been extremely polite, well mannered, and well-spoken. I smile a lot, and look friendly. It's not an act, and is just the way I appear. It does not make me a good person though.
As a child, my parents were always praised by other adults in the village for me being such a lovely polite child. Many adults wrongly thought I was great. Others saw that I was every bit as bad, if not worse, than my peers, and assumed I was putting on an act. They hated me because they assumed my politeness was an act, and they would tell me. I would happilly swear at them, and tell them what I thought of them.
If I had been like the rest of the children, and not been so polite, the adults would probably never have had an issue with me.
I was unaware of this until I was an adult, and a friends parent told me about it. 

It's very possible to appear rude, but be a very kind person. I am proof that it's possible to appear lovely, but not be a great person.

[earthboundmisfit]

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html

[renaeden]

I have no idea if I am kind or not.

["couldbecousin"]

I have no idea if I am kind or not.

 From what I know of you here, I would say that you are very kind. 

[eris]

I have no idea if I am kind or not.

 From what I know of you here, I would say that you are very kind. 

i agree

[renaeden]

Thanks, both of you. I know I don't like to do mean things to people but that is for selfish reasons - I don't like feeling terrible about it.

Lately when I have been on the train I have wanted to go up to people who are playing their music loud or some other obnoxious behaviour, and kick them really hard. Wouldn't they be surprised. It amuses me to think such things. I know they are not kind thoughts.

["couldbecousin"]

Thanks, both of you. I know I don't like to do mean things to people but that is for selfish reasons - I don't like feeling terrible about it.

Lately when I have been on the train I have wanted to go up to people who are playing their music loud or some other obnoxious behaviour, and kick them really hard. Wouldn't they be surprised. It amuses me to think such things. I know they are not kind thoughts.

 Heh, I have thoughts like that ALL the time.  It's fine to have them as long as you don't
 act on them.  Also, the fact that you would feel terrible about doing mean things to people
 suggests that you are kind, because if you weren't, you wouldn't care at all. 

[renaeden]

I don't like when you (in the general sense) do something mean and feel good about it but then later think, "Er maybe I shouldn't have done that." And then feel worse and worse about it.

["couldbecousin"]

I don't like when you (in the general sense) do something mean and feel good about it but then later think, "Er maybe I shouldn't have done that." And then feel worse and worse about it.

 See what I mean?  If you weren't basically kind, you wouldn't have the guilt. 

[renaeden]

Heh, I think you must be right. Best not to do anything mean in the first place.

["couldbecousin"]

Heh, I think you must be right. Best not to do anything mean in the first place.

 I usually don't, but occasionally I lose my temper and get snappish. 

[eris]

I really dont get  angry and yell at people, ever, but there have been times I've gotten really really mad at someone and said mean things. I dont mean name calling , I mean... I tend to go for the throat...

[Psychophant]

I have fantasies about doing mean things to rude/obnoxious people........they stay fantasies and helps to relieve the stress.   

[Squidusa]

I have fantasies about doing mean things to rude/obnoxious people........they stay fantasies and helps to relieve the stress.