Educational

Author Topic: Is kindness a weakness?  (Read 3868 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Calandale

  • Official sheep shagger of the aspie underclass
  • Elder
  • Postwhore Beyond The Pale
  • *****
  • Posts: 41238
  • Karma: -57
  • Gender: Male
  • peep
    • The Game Box: Live!
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #60 on: August 24, 2007, 04:53:27 AM »
Suck me.

eris

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #61 on: October 21, 2011, 05:02:08 PM »
Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.

Psychophant

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #62 on: October 21, 2011, 05:03:23 PM »
Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.

 :agreed: :plus:

Offline earthboundmisfit

  • Mayhem of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 5245
  • Karma: 957
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #63 on: October 21, 2011, 05:05:53 PM »


Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.


I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.

Psychophant

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #64 on: October 21, 2011, 05:08:29 PM »


Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.


I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.

True, it's a balance!   :plus:

eris

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #65 on: October 21, 2011, 05:10:51 PM »


Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.


I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.

I try to think of it this way ...

I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.

Psychophant

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #66 on: October 21, 2011, 05:53:21 PM »


Kindness is a strength.

Anyone can be mean. It takes courage to be kind.


I agree, but as long as you don't let anyone take advantage of that kindness.

I try to think of it this way ...

I am kind because I want to be, they can take it however they wish. I am not being kind to score brownie points or get good reaction, I do it because it is in my nature. If someone tries to take advantage, I am no longer kind and they lost out on what would have been selflessness on my part.

 :thumbup:

Offline Natalia Evans

  • Spokane Tour Guide of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8148
  • Karma: 578
  • Gender: Female
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #67 on: October 22, 2011, 01:20:06 AM »
I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying. 


Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show.  It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.

Offline Calavera

  • The Intellectually Deficient of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 3735
  • Karma: 358
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #68 on: October 22, 2011, 01:34:30 AM »
I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying. 


Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show.  It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.

So you've never said or done anything just to be nice? :cbc:

eris

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #69 on: October 22, 2011, 02:17:40 AM »
there is a difference between acting nice and being kind

Frolic_Fun

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #70 on: October 22, 2011, 03:49:44 AM »
Being kind to everyone is naive, It's better to leave the kindness to people you know and trust but even then you have to be careful.

For me, a mixture of kindness along with honesty and a willingness to put your foot down when bullshit arises works best.

Frolic_Fun

  • Guest
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #71 on: October 22, 2011, 03:53:32 AM »
there is a difference between acting nice and being kind

Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.

Offline Pyraxis

  • Werewolf Wrangler of the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 16680
  • Karma: 1433
  • aka Daria
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #72 on: October 22, 2011, 04:38:00 AM »
I think being too nice is a bad thing because one, people can take advantage of you, two, people might think you are a phony and trying to manipulate. Plus people give you crap for it. Plus I have noticed when people are being "nice" they are actually lying because they are not saying what they mean so I cringe now when I hear "Oh I said that to be nice" or "oh I did that to be nice." So they didn't mean what they did or meant what they said? I learned this from my husband because he say things and then he tell me "Oh I told them that to be nice" and I learned after a while it means to be a phony because you aren't saying what you mean, you're lying. 


Yep I learned all this in the past four years. Oh yeah if you tell me "I said that just to be nice" I am going to be questioning everything else you say because I will be wondering if you are just saying that to be nice and what are you really thinking instead. I will be reading into everything you say and might be misreading between the lines all of a sudden because of that one time. I would be thinking of you as some phony and wonder what are you really saying. That goes for when you say "I did that just to be nice" I will then be questioning all your other actions and wonder if you really meant it or was it just to be nice just for a show.  It doesn't matter if it was to me or not, if it was about another person, I will be questioning your every moves that is nice because I won't know if it's genuine or "just to be nice." But I don't do this to my husband because he doesn't lie to me, only to other people.

Well said.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline renaeden

  • Complicated Case of the Aspie Elite
  • Caretaker Admin
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 26132
  • Karma: 2535
  • Gender: Female
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #73 on: October 22, 2011, 08:07:44 AM »
there is a difference between acting nice and being kind

Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.
Never had that experience. Maybe I just haven't met enough people.
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline Squidusa

  • Cephalopod Succubus of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Insane Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 10534
  • Karma: 742
  • I can haz Perseus?
Re: Is kindness a weakness?
« Reply #74 on: October 22, 2011, 08:23:53 AM »
there is a difference between acting nice and being kind

Very true. You'd notice someone being "nice" a mile away because they NEVER give you any sort of criticism and seem to agree with you on everything.

I agree.  :)















 :zoinks:

Seriously though I do.  :laugh:
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.