Is kindness a weakness?

[purposefulinsanity]

Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything.  Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.

[Callaway]

I think that anyone can be kind to their friends, but I think that it takes a really strong person to be kind to people even if they are not kind to you.

What if you find it easier to be kind and reasonable to a person who's unkind to you, but it doesn't do any good to stop them from being unkind to the next person they meet?

Do you think being unkind is ever a worthwhile skill to develop? Or is the ideal something more Gandhi-like, passive resistance?

I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.

I think that most of the time it is much easier to get someone to see your point-of-view if you treat them with kindness and respect, even if they are not reciprocating.

I admire Gandhi a great deal, even though I could never aspire to be like him.  Look at what was accomplished with relatively little bloodshed with passive resistance.

[Callaway]

Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything.  Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.

That's so sad, but I see why you had to cut off contact with them.  You could not risk your own children being hurt or even possibly seeing that sort of behavior as something that they should imitate.  Also, the friendship with their mother seemed too one-sided.

[The_P]

Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.

[Pyraxis]

I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.

By what criteria do you decide that it's your responsibility to teach someone?

By what criteria do you decide whether it's your responsibility to stop someone?

[Pyraxis]

Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.

I thought you had a penchant for arrogant douchebags.  Or is it just the douchebag part that you object to?

[purposefulinsanity]

Its completely unfair to her children, social services have been involved with that family for a long time, but they never actually seem to do anything.  Its really sad that to see all 3 of her kids heading down the same road, and no-one doing a thing about it.

That's so sad, but I see why you had to cut off contact with them.  You could not risk your own children being hurt or even possibly seeing that sort of behavior as something that they should imitate.  Also, the friendship with their mother seemed too one-sided.

Her two boys were also trying to pressure our eldest into trying smoking.   Before I realised just how bad things were with them she'd always say she's babysit for my kids soon whenever I looked after hers, but once I saw more of what was going on there was no way I'd have let her look after them.   But, yeah I stuck it out longer than I should have because I felt sorry for them all and wanted to help- but I couldn't risk my kids to help them.

[The_P]

Ghandi has never stooped to our level,
which makes him the biggest arrogant douchebag with
a Messianic Complex going.

I thought you had a penchant for arrogant douchebags.  Or is it just the douchebag part that you object to?

Hush up, for I am trying to emulate "Calandale" but to no avail,
which is no surprise as I am the ultimate douchebag.

[Pyraxis]

  You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.

 

[Callaway]

I think that you don't have to stoop to someone else's level to teach them, assuming that you see it as your responsibility to teach them.

By what criteria do you decide that it's your responsibility to teach someone?

By what criteria do you decide whether it's your responsibility to stop someone?

Me, personally?

My primary responsibility is to take care of my daughter, to teach her to be as independent as possible as she grows up and to help her be a good person.

Or are you asking why I saw it as my responsibility to deal with Hiro?

He was harassing more than one person here in extremely inappropriate ways.  He refused to understand that he was behaving inappropriately and he refused to stop.  I had at least some standing to confront him because he had sexually harassed me in chat.  Even though he had done much worse things to others, they could not confront him, so I did.  I got involved because I care very much about the members of INTENSITY² and what Hiro was doing had to stop.  

[Pyraxis]

Yeah, I was asking about Hiro, but I was also trying to generalize it so I didn't clutter up yet another thread with callout crap. When you said "assuming you see it as your responsibility to teach them," I thought you might be implying I was being arrogant. So I was curious at what point you thought taking the responsibility to teach became arrogant.

[Calandale]

You didn't have to admit squat - you had me fooled. I responded thinking you were the douche himself.

 

Don't think that I could be used for
such a minor purpose.

[Calandale]

It can be. I know of a guy that let a guy stay rent free because he was too soft.

Hmm...most guys I know who are into other men,
want them hard.

[QuirkyCarla]

Be nice to your cashiers (unless of course, they're assholes to you first).

[ozymandias]

If Kindness is a weakness, then I'm a pretty weak person IRL.  But, having said that, I'm in agreement with Callaway and PI.  In the past I would be too susceptible to being exploited by someone who would take advantage of my willingness to help at any time.  I'v learned to draw limits and set boundaries.  But, it doesn't hurt to be polite and practice random acts of kindness, no matter how small or if you do or don't know the person(s) your being kind to.