Next victim

[mordok]

do you think that the sub is really the person in control of a dom/sub relationship?

I'll answer too, just because it's an interesting question to me!

It depends on the degree of the D/s relationship.  I have a lot of friends who kind of play around with BDSM as a bedroom game.    In that case, yeah, definitely, the sub has control in the end, with the safe word and discussions of what the night's play will and won't involve and what have you.   I have another friend who lives it as a 24/7 lifestyle.  She absolutely does not have control, does not want it, and resents when people think she does.  She did in the beginning, of course.  It was absolutely her choice to be collared and give herself over to her Master.  But now?  No.

I think both are perfectly valid choices.  It's just too broad of a field to generalize.

   (btw, is it ok to yay my own wife here?  or does that get too close to gaming the system?)

I really could not have put it much better than her.  The only thing I might add is that in addition to the 2 examples she gave (bedroom game & 24/7 lifestyle), there are, of course many shades in between where the power moves more from the sub to the Master.

[Calandale]

btw, is it ok to yay my own wife here? 

You can fuck her here,
for all we care.

Well, actually, most would
probably egg you on. 

[mordok]

btw, is it ok to yay my own wife here? 

You can fuck her here,
for all we care.

Well, actually, most would
probably egg you on. 

shhhh.  don't spoil the surprise....

[Kiriana]

what if she changes her mind? will she get free? it's a dangerous game to relinquish all control for the future when you don't know what you might want in the future.

Truthfully, I don't know the answer to that.  I do know that it's more complex than it sounds.  In theory, yes, she could certainly walk away.  If she filed for divorce, the courts would see her as a human being with all her rights intact.  Would she, and what would it take to get to that point?  I really do not know.   It's a completely different mindset, really.

[McGiver]

what do you do for a living?

[mordok]

what do you do for a living?

Whatever they tell me to. 

Rather than re-type it all, here's a link to an earlier description I gave in my intro thread: http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php?topic=5148.msg228014#msg228014

[McGiver]

what do you do for a living?

Whatever they tell me to. 

Rather than re-type it all, here's a link to an earlier description I gave in my intro thread: http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php?topic=5148.msg228014#msg228014

i have ADHD and i have it bad.  did you expect me to read all that?


well, i did.


since your role has changed have they tried to cut your pay as well?

[mordok]

what do you do for a living?

Whatever they tell me to. 

Rather than re-type it all, here's a link to an earlier description I gave in my intro thread: http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php?topic=5148.msg228014#msg228014

i have ADHD and i have it bad.  did you expect me to read all that?


well, i did.


since your role has changed have they tried to cut your pay as well?

Thankfully, no.  They're too busy not giving anyone raises while increasing our insurance premiums.  Plus, while my current work is far easier than my original role, it isn't actually considered easier by management.

For some reason, the IT world has always considered system administration lower on the totem pole than most roles.  At least, until something breaks.

And congrats on making it through that long diatribe despite the ADHD.   

[McGiver]

:pats self on back:


yes, labour everywhere is getting screwed out of liveable wages and healthcare.
i really hope that unions make a comeback and thet they are strong.
problem i see is that not enough people are willing to make sacrifices today for rewards tomorrow.

[SovaNu]

what if she changes her mind? will she get free? it's a dangerous game to relinquish all control for the future when you don't know what you might want in the future.

Truthfully, I don't know the answer to that.  I do know that it's more complex than it sounds.  In theory, yes, she could certainly walk away.  If she filed for divorce, the courts would see her as a human being with all her rights intact.  Would she, and what would it take to get to that point?  I really do not know.   It's a completely different mindset, really.

you know what i love about this place is that people are honest. on other boards when you debate a matter they never admit they don't know the answer to something. they never admit anything. they just want to "win" instead of get to the truth.

[McGiver]

how did you and your wife celebrate your wedding anninversary?

[mordok]

how did you and your wife celebrate your wedding anninversary?

Sadly, due to a combination of factors (kids, money, pregnancy, etc.), we really didn't do much to celebrate beyond just acknowledging the day.

[McGiver]

how did you and your wife celebrate your wedding anninversary?

Sadly, due to a combination of factors (kids, money, pregnancy, etc.), we really didn't do much to celebrate beyond just acknowledging the day.

you could have played scrabble.

[mordok]

how did you and your wife celebrate your wedding anninversary?

Sadly, due to a combination of factors (kids, money, pregnancy, etc.), we really didn't do much to celebrate beyond just acknowledging the day.

you could have played scrabble.

We don't own a scrabble set.

[Kiriana]

how did you and your wife celebrate your wedding anninversary?

Sadly, due to a combination of factors (kids, money, pregnancy, etc.), we really didn't do much to celebrate beyond just acknowledging the day.

you could have played scrabble.

I suppose...if we actually had Scrabble.  Though I suppose a make-it-yourself set could be fun as well.