No probs Peegai, will prob be one my bro accidently took lol
Most people think or know they are better looking than certain/some people etc and i know i may have some things going for me more than some others do probably mainly due to my figure, but i dont think im overly pretty or extremely hot or anything so ive never really understood properly why i get the attention i do even though i am happy with my appearance. Ive also never really liked the attention much ive got from guys (especially after the attempted rape thing which resulted in me developing agoraphobia at the time) or the attention from other people about how pretty i was (as it freaked me out) or how great i was because i was stick thin (which i hated most, as i know it isnt normal for alot of girls to be my shape, and i never wanted to be a poster girl for reasons to develop an eating disorder).
Ive usually found the attention an inconveniance and it made me feel very uncomfortable for quite some time so i avoided alot of public places but i eventually developed strategies and blanked everyone out when i went shopping and different places etc. (which i know sounds horrible because its mainly all good attention minus the girls who bitch or draw you evil looks because theyre fat, skanks or neds etc but it still felt a bit weird).
Ive gotten used to it though and have learned how to work with it but i still sometimes feel a little akward with the attention i get from some people especially compliments which make me a bit embarassed etc sometimes (the oldies are famous for it), All in all its easier when im out with someone else as guys are more hesitant about saying things especially if your with another guy or your mum lol and the girls are even more extra hesitant as they get embarassed when they get caught by someone else when they are drawing you evil looks or bitching about you being a skinny cow etc.
The only thing i really resent is when women suggest i got/get certain things or got to certain places, have certain friends/contacts etc because of my appearance, when in reality anything ive achieved etc ive worked hard for, and i dont use my appearance in the way they have sometimes suggested, even though i do aknowledge it has opened certain doors, given me some more opportunities and helped in some situations etc but its done that without me manipulating it. (and i dont imagine im the only one whos been fortunate in that sense, plus other women actually DO use their appearance including their body sexually to manipulate situations, people, to get what they want, where they want etc)
The only special treatment i enjoy and dont refuse is when im shopping as the stores i go to are very accomodating, i phone up when i plan to visit, they reserve me a changing room with rails of ALL the items they think i will like/limited editions etc in my size, i go in try them on when i feel like it, dont have to wait in queues etc dont need to worry about not getting something etc get first refusal of everything in my size, i get special items shipped in for me and i get served super fast sometimes with discounts. Its really handy and makes shopping easier even though other customers in the store sometimes hate you for getting special treatment etc.
I dont compromise my integrity etc, sure i may joke about certain things etc, but i wouldnt use my body or sexuality to get my foot up a ladder, ive always tried to do things in another manner, so much so i have turned down opportunities where i felt i was being offered them because of things other than my abilities etc.
I do get fed up of people seeing the cover and trying to befriend, get close without actually knowing the contents of the book so to speak yes.
Which is why i ended a few of my RL friendships and took my photos down off profile sites for a long time, then i tried to stick up ones that wouldnt get the wrong sort of attention etc, because i was fed up of people contacting me due to my photos but who hadnt even read my profile. Eventually i stopped caring about my photos on sites and just had a laugh with it and how idiotic etc some people are.
Kennys probably the best person to ask about it all as it drives him absolutely mad and disgusts him, hes brought it up a few times. Which is kinda funny.
I must admit i do check the photos on profiles too, but not before reading the profile to get an idea of what the persons like first.
Long post over.
Mcjagger i said to Peegai i would have a look in my "top secret" folder for him, will prob be an embarassing pic though lol.
