Good question.
My AS traits have made certain aspects of being a husband and father excruciatingly difficult - learning to see other peoples point of view, accepting when the needs of others have to take precedent, being less critical and curbing my temper. On the other hand, it has made me try a lot harder than I otherwise might have done - I've almost lost it all a couple of times.
I'm not a selfish person, but 'self-centred' in as much as I find it hard to understand or anticipate the perspectives of others - which causes frequent problems with the kids, fortunately Mel can usually set me straight. It comes in useful with our aspie son though at times, as I tend to understand his reasoning when he's arse side out, and can explain situations to him in a way which he can make sense of. And I'm willing to put my family (and time for them) ahead of demands from work, partly because I haven't bought into the Western Dream so its more important to me. That was a major stress factor for me when I was struggling to hold down a job -trying to balance the two sets of demands on me. So as a 'provider' I'm a bit unreliable, but in other ways they know they can rely on me. I don't think its made me a worse dad, or necessarily a better dad, but certainly an unusual one.
As for husband, we have a very strong, open, equal relationship with a lot of trust - I think the balance of characteristics between us has had more to do with the quality of our relationship than having AS. We'll have been together 13 years in September.
