I think by you trying to really be someone, you can provoke other men to do so. There is too many rotten boyfriends, this is partly the reason I do all the work I am doing. The wives/girlfriends may say something, and it may drive their men to give what they are supposed to. I bet if you did such a selfless thing, your wife would be turned on. I am doing it for my gf, and each time I think about having sweets, rare are those times, I think about those poor people. Both the bf and gf are poor, because ounce you get the bf/husband to move up, they find its just better. I am trying to get others to self actualize also, that is part of self actualization. Everytime I went in that direction, I just got happier, and more fuctional.