Emo Clown Donkey PimpsCher (vocals)
Zach Braff (vocals, lyrics, piano)
Charlie Korsmo (guitar, pan fluit)
Shandi from Next Top Model (background vocals, lyrics)
Michael Richards (vocals, rap)
Cosmo Kramer (chrysalis, didgeridoo)
Zach Braff started the band and got his friend Cher to join. he first became her friend for this very purpose. he's a genius. but Charlie Korsmo being the lover of Cher wanted to join. Zach said ok even though he didn't like his conservative views. Shandi being the official girlfriend of Charlie Korsmo wanted to join. Michael Richards and his split personality Cosmo Kramer were asked if they wanted to join too by an angry Zach. they said yes and the band was formed. Zach came to think of the duet dubbed "Kramer vs Richards" as the best in the bunch. he wrote a long article for The Times about how sometimes our subconscious has brilliant flashes of brilliance and bleeds to the surface in the form of sarcasm and drywit. he won the pulizer prize for Speaking The Truth
TM and was very proud, all his bandmates were proud to know him and sported T-shirts that said "i know Zach Braff, the pulizer winner!" these T-shirts were quickly on sale on various Cafe Press sites and at hip mall T-shirt stores.
late in the spring of 1997 there happened something incredible. Zach and Charlie Korsmo became friends. they started hanging out together and drinking beer. they went on picnics and flew a kite in the park. they fell madly in love and wanted to get married. but Cher and Zach's boyfriend and castmate Donald Faison stood in the way, so they had an affair. they made out all the time when noone was looking. but one fateful afternoon Donald walked in and saw them in each other's arms and was shocked to his very core. he left crying and Zach followed him and tried to feed him lies but he swallowed none, instead he said his trust in Zach was broken and he needed to take some time to be alone. Zach fell into a heap on the floor and Charlie came to comfort him but Zach needed to be alone. Zach went to Cher and told her everything. Cher went into a rage and kicked Charlie Korsmo out of the Magnificent Palace she shared with him. she said she was keeping the dog, Cretin. Charlie Korsmo cried bitter tears.
all this was unknown to bandmates and they were in for a shock. Cher declared Charlie Korsmo was out of the band and that Zach would have to replace him. bandmate wannabes came in to be auditioned and Cher picked one who reminded her of her latest-hate Korsmo. another child-star-made-lame-adult Scott Baio. Scott instantly fell in love with Cher and the two-some sported T-shirts with each others' photographs. Charlie Korsmo was devastated. he turned to Zach who was busy winning back Donald. Charlie Korsmo then turned to an old friend Robin Williams who only advised him to "look within" and "watch good will hunting"... Korsmo was desperate so he rented the film and cried as the credits rolled. "why didn't i see this before?" cried Charlie Korsmo.
late in February the band was doing reasonably well considering what had happened. Zach and Donald had made up. the twins were not arguing and Shandi had dumped Charlie Korsmo because she wanted her old boyfriend back. Charlie Korsmo had given up his repulsive conservative ways. he had become a monk in the hills of Tibet or Thailand or something. the bandmates didn't know where he was except that it was someplace with a T as he sent postcards with clues and weird sentences. he explained these were "braintoys" and they were to help them find themselves. he told them to watch good will hunting, which they did but none of the castmates "got it". except one. Zach Braff. he cried and went crazy with sadness. he missed Charlie Korsmo and made a television announcement which Charlie Korsmo saw. you see, Korsmo was in town hiding. he hadn't actually gone to a monastery but learned to be a monk via letter exhange. he wrote to a monk high in the hills of Tibet... or Thailand. or some place with a T. this monk told him to look within and sent him odd sentences. all these sentences made Charlie Korsmo cry. because he didn't understand them. Zach finally reached him in his hole and he called Zach. Zach was delighted to hear Charlie's voice. they cried and swore never to be apart.
in the spring of 1999 things were well in the band, Charlie Korsmo had been forgiven and Scott Baio was out of the band with Cher. they had started a new band by the name of Smelly Onions with Pete Doherty and Kate Moss. Zach and Charlie Korsmo were married in Canada but moved to New York and lived with the twins. two new bandmates were chosen as Cher and Shandi had left the band. these new bandmates were Samanda of Big Brother fame. Samanda wanted to sing christmas carols with an emopunk edge so they released a christmas album, it was called Carols From The Other Side. it did well and the band was happy.
in 2000 Shandi had started her own band with Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Jay Mewes. the band was called Drugs n Shit and they all had nicknames. Matt and Ben were The Damonator and The Affleker. Jason was called The Jasonator and Shandi was The Shandinator. they were hardcore emo-punk.
later that year the new singers for Emo Clown Donkey Pimps, Samantha and Amanda were soon replaced with someone amazing. Sharon Stone. the album Dances With Donkeys was hailed as the best album of the year by the alternative scene. it featured a tribute song to Samantha and Amanda called Sister Where Art Thou. the album consisted of Sharon Stone vocals and Zach Braff's lyrics.
Sharon Stone lives in New York and is married to Kramer and Richards. Zach and Charlie Korsmo live in New Jersey and have two dogs called Kitten and Smitten. Zach and Donald have made up and see each other all the time now. Donald got over Zach's betrayal with the help of Charlie Korsmo's braintoys and good will hunting which made him cry and find himself, he married Ted Korsmo after they had been dating for a while and now they live in New Jersey and are neighbours of Zach and Charlie Korsmo. the bands Drugs n Shit and Smelly Onion are both doing fine despite drug problems of Kate Moss and Scott Baio. Shandi is married to Jason Mewes. Cher and Scott are still together. the Emo Clown Donkey Pimps are still a doing well and have achieved cult status.
