Okay, digital camera bought, awful picture taken.
I look a lot differently than I would like to look. According to the media I am not ugly, I am either neutral or just below it. I don't like how my appearence is not... consistent with my personality and self-image. My image of myself is kind of cartoony, where my facial expressions are very exaggerated and expressive. I am afraid, but moreso because I have the wrong face rather than simply an unattractive one.
Okay, now that I got that out of the way...
I found out about AS about 2 years ago(maybe 1, i don't keep track of time well), it was during my first semester of college.
In retrospect there were a lot of signs, but my father is also probably an aspie and he has just learned in life that even if people like him exist, they are just unlucky but more or less average and unspecial. He has always said that he hoped that he could go into a doctors office, they'd say, "Oh you have X" and it would make all the problems he's had in life make sense, but he also says that is just a dream of his that ain't ever gonna come true.
I was reading a book and listening to an episode of stargate, "Window of opportunity." And my friend schooly asked if I was gonna watch it, and I told him that I could see it in my head. And then he asked, "What are they doing right now." And I said, "Walking forward towards the camera down a corridor." And I proceded to quote every word and scene ahead of time for the rest of the episode. And things would happen like i'd start laughing before the joke came out. And it was at that point that I learned that it isn't normal kind of memory to remember every detail of something someone experiences. I then looked up eidetic memory on google, and then started to learn about AS.
Something else to know is that my father has always fancied me a hypochondriac, i don't think so, i'm just curious. I don't bitch about my health, i'm just curious. But I sent him the link to all the symptoms of people with AS, and he just said, "Yeah... that's you."
A couple months later I got a diagnosis from my therapist and proceded to realize how all the difficulities i ever had in school and life fit into this puzzle, and all the pieces came together.
I am currently in michigan.
Do the lyrics of the song need to be original, or can I pick lyrics from some song I know?
I don't practice any existing religion. Any similarity between my beliefs and life practices and those of an existing religion are purely coincidental.
I think it is possible for a power to exist, but I don't like calling it higher or lower or whatever. I think if a god exists, its confidence in its own abilities and validity should be so sure that it doesn't need me to kiss its ass, or be offended when i am not intelligent enough to recognize it. More than that it should expect me to be the flawed mortal I am and be happy and compassionate towards me. You don't get really offended when a 2 year old challenges you to a fist fight. You just go, "Awww, that's cute."
So I think a power could exist, but i've never met one. I wouldn't mind finding out I'm wrong.
While I have never met a higher power, it would be logically foolish to assume that a higher power is impossible. However until I meet one, i cannot know what form it is likely to take. And if I was forced to decide on what form it should take on the basis of a book written by man, i think I like tolkien, or Serial Experiment: Lain, or star wars, or lovecraft. You know, something with nifty writing. I have always felt that there the plot device in the bible where jesus sacrifices himself for our sins and then gets resurrected or ascends afterwards was fucked up. If you sacrifice yourself, you should STAY sacrificed! It isn't much of a sacrifice if you get it back after sacrificing it. Somebody has to figure out how to rewrite the christian story so that it sounds at least better than star wars.
I don't care what people believe as long as their opinions are held in equal value with mine during basically democratically decided policies on what people are allowed to do and not allowed to do.
I think an unhappy amount of those who say they believe don't really, and also there is an unhappy amount of people who believe that do so blindly, and I would find it easier to respect those who believe who have really thought shit through, but I find those people are rare. But while in the short term the stupidity and sillyness of people might matter, in the long term nothing matters, so you should get worked up about it.
