Interrogate PMS Elle!

[Trigger 11]

My problem with blow jobs is I have never had one done to fruition. Girls always tucker out after 10-15 minutes.

As far as giving, as long as things are kept clean and trimmed, I'll stay down there for hours. Hell, I'd pitch a tent and set up residence.

[El]

My problem with blow jobs is I have never had one done to fruition. Girls always tucker out after 10-15 minutes.

After that, whiplash and jaw soreness get to be an issue for us ladiez.    More fore-foreplay might help get there faster.  I think faith in the ability of the act to get where you want it to is also part of it- if you believe you can't get off a certain way, you'll have a harder (ha) time doing so.

[Trigger 11]

Some of it is my stamina issue, which is beneficial during intercourse, but not so much during oral. But a lot of it has to do with technique. How many times should a guy hint to his girl on what works and what doesn't? If a girl does it right, it doesn't take long. The use of hands and actually moving your head, as opposed to just laying there and licking, is essential. They should have courses on this in college. It's frustrating.

As far as foreplay goes, I am all into that. I am such a girl when it comes to this stuff. I'd rather screw around for hours than have intercourse for 20-30 minutes. I've yet to find a partner who agrees. They always just want me to throw it in. Most of the fun is the journey getting there. If I wanted to just throw it in, I would go to the Bunny Ranch.

[El]

Some of it is my stamina issue, which is beneficial during intercourse, but not so much during oral. But a lot of it has to do with technique. How many times should a guy hint to his girl on what works and what doesn't? If a girl does it right, it doesn't take long. The use of hands and actually moving your head, as opposed to just laying there and licking, is essential. They should have courses on this in college. It's frustrating.

As far as foreplay goes, I am all into that. I am such a girl when it comes to this stuff. I'd rather screw around for hours than have intercourse for 20-30 minutes. I've yet to find a partner who agrees. They always just want me to throw it in. Most of the fun is the journey getting there. If I wanted to just throw it in, I would go to the Bunny Ranch.

How can you know that if a girl doesn't do it right it won't take long if it's never worked for you?    Also, sometimes 'hints' aren't as clear as you boyz think they are- I won't ask what hints you give, but one guy I fooled around with made really spazzy hand gestures that actually made things worse- I think that if he'd just let me freakin' do MY thing, which largely involves trying different things and paying attention to how the guy is reacting, I would probably have done better than having to stop and ask what the fuck was up with his sign language.  Then again being bossy is kind of irritating (though again, I do genuinely like to 'get to know' new partners on my own, so that might be part of it).

As to how to give 'good blowjobs,' I've spoken with a few guys who shared the same erroneous belief that there's one specific way to do it, and that when they don't come from a blowjob, it's because a woman doesn't know how to do it right.  This isn't exactly right.  Just using the tongue for awhile to build and then finishing quickly using the hands and mouth has worked with one of my exes; whether it was an issue like sensitivity or stamina, or the fact that I'm pretty sure he expected to be able to get off from it/that i'd finish (so he wasn't thinking "damnit, she's doing it wrong, it won't work"), I absolutely do not believe there is one 'perfect' technique. The one thing I'd say probably is almost universally important- in this, in sex, and in relationships- is knowing what the wants and needs of the person you're with are.

...I'll get off my sex-talk soapbox now.  For the moment.

[enronh]

My problem with blow jobs is I have never had one done to fruition. Girls always tucker out after 10-15 minutes.

After that, whiplash and jaw soreness get to be an issue for us ladiez.    More fore-foreplay might help get there faster. I think faith in the ability of the act to get where you want it to is also part of it- if you believe you can't get off a certain way, you'll have a harder (ha) time doing so.

True enough. I'm usually thinking too much, thinking it won't happen, cause her technique is shit. And lo' and behold it doesn't.

I needs to get me a positive fellatio mantra! 

[Alex179]

I make chocolate chip cookies all the time.   They are usually just as good if not better than what I could buy.   That and I enjoy oral sex too.   What a coincidence!   Who doesn't like cookies and oral sex?   There must be something really wrong with someone who doesn't like both.

Yes.  Yes, indeed.

I think some girls worry about it being unpleasant for the guy to do- and some (very few, but they do exist) have the same fear in regards to getting blowjobs.  IMO, it does ruin the mood if you think your partner isn't doing somehting they want to.

She doesn't like giving either, but she did suck my dick that night (she was not terrible at it).   Has some sort of thing against kissing and hugging too.  Just wants to fuck.   I told her that I like giving oral, she just would rather not receive, give or any sort.   I am referring to the female I slept with last night.   She seems to be a bit of a liar too... she said she has problems getting wet, but she was gushing wet the entire time we had sex.   It was like she prepared me for the opposite in regard to the wetness issue beforehand.

[Trigger 11]

I have gotten it to work when I have assisted, so I know what works for me. Sure, it will be different for every guy, for physical and mental reasons, just like it is different getting off every girl. Since I am not the bossy type and way too sensitive to how my partner feels, I usually just fake it when she isn't doing it right (for me). But when you are with someone for long enough, you try and work together to figure out how best to take care of each other. I keep ending up with non-compatible sexual partners…usually lazy, selfish, over confident in their technique(s), not open to suggestions/hints, and lacking in the ability to experiment. I call them the “Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mams”! All they want is insertion of penis into vagina.

Personally, I am very attentive and pay attention to the little signs as well as more direct ones. Plus, I will straight out ask what, where, when, how, with, etc.? I'm an Aspie in all other social situations, but not when I am intimate with a partner. I’ve been told I am not even the same person. I also always make sure the girl is taken care of first. This is due in part to this great sense of duty I feel to any girl that will actually give me the honor of fornicating with me.

I don’t disagree with what you are saying, but I know what I like and have been very clear, even showing by demonstration and video, what will work. When they still won’t do it properly, and continue to claim how good they are at it, which in and of itself is such a turn off, I just…oooh. Now I am upset!

[El]

I have gotten it to work when I have assisted, so I know what works for me. Sure, it will be different for every guy, for physical and mental reasons, just like it is different getting off every girl. Since I am not the bossy type and way too sensitive to how my partner feels, I usually just fake it when she isn't doing it right (for me). But when you are with someone for long enough, you try and work together to figure out how best to take care of each other. I keep ending up with non-compatible sexual partners…usually lazy, selfish, over confident in their technique(s), not open to suggestions/hints, and lacking in the ability to experiment. I call them the “Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mams”! All they want is insertion of penis into vagina.

Personally, I am very attentive and pay attention to the little signs as well as more direct ones. Plus, I will straight out ask what, where, when, how, with, etc.? I'm an Aspie in all other social situations, but not when I am intimate with a partner. I’ve been told I am not even the same person. I also always make sure the girl is taken care of first. This is due in part to this great sense of duty I feel to any girl that will actually give me the honor of fornicating with me.

I don’t disagree with what you are saying, but I know what I like and have been very clear, even showing by demonstration and video, what will work. When they still won’t do it properly, and continue to claim how good they are at it, which in and of itself is such a turn off, I just…oooh. Now I am upset!

Lol, maybe they don't want to get you off if they're all about the intercourse part of the whole ordeal, then.  I just outright address it- just say I know if I keep going I'm going to spoil my fun, and ask if sex is going to happen or if I should just finish.

She doesn't like giving either, but she did suck my dick that night (she was not terrible at it).   Has some sort of thing against kissing and hugging too.  Just wants to fuck.   I told her that I like giving oral, she just would rather not receive, give or any sort.   I am referring to the female I slept with last night.   She seems to be a bit of a liar too... she said she has problems getting wet, but she was gushing wet the entire time we had sex.   It was like she prepared me for the opposite in regard to the wetness issue beforehand.

This is the BPD one, correct?

[Alex179]

Yes this is the BPD one.

[El]

Yes this is the BPD one.

I hate to be a prejudiced jerk and say "that explains it," but...   

[Trigger 11]

I have gotten it to work when I have assisted, so I know what works for me. Sure, it will be different for every guy, for physical and mental reasons, just like it is different getting off every girl. Since I am not the bossy type and way too sensitive to how my partner feels, I usually just fake it when she isn't doing it right (for me). But when you are with someone for long enough, you try and work together to figure out how best to take care of each other. I keep ending up with non-compatible sexual partners…usually lazy, selfish, over confident in their technique(s), not open to suggestions/hints, and lacking in the ability to experiment. I call them the “Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mams”! All they want is insertion of penis into vagina.

Personally, I am very attentive and pay attention to the little signs as well as more direct ones. Plus, I will straight out ask what, where, when, how, with, etc.? I'm an Aspie in all other social situations, but not when I am intimate with a partner. I’ve been told I am not even the same person. I also always make sure the girl is taken care of first. This is due in part to this great sense of duty I feel to any girl that will actually give me the honor of fornicating with me.

I don’t disagree with what you are saying, but I know what I like and have been very clear, even showing by demonstration and video, what will work. When they still won’t do it properly, and continue to claim how good they are at it, which in and of itself is such a turn off, I just…oooh. Now I am upset!

Lol, maybe they don't want to get you off if they're all about the intercourse part of the whole ordeal, then.  I just outright address it- just say I know if I keep going I'm going to spoil my fun, and ask if sex is going to happen or if I should just finish.

Not a problem, I don't need any down time. I always jump right back on.

[Alex179]

Yes this is the BPD one.

I hate to be a prejudiced jerk and say "that explains it," but...   

Yeah I know

I am such a lucky guy.   I talk to the girl that lives in Cali every night still.  That has more promise, especially in a relationship sense.

[El]

Yes this is the BPD one.

I hate to be a prejudiced jerk and say "that explains it," but...   

Yeah I know

I am such a lucky guy.   I talk to the girl that lives in Cali every night still.  That has more promise, especially in a relationship sense.

BTW, have you thought about how the girl with BPD might react at the end of your time with her?  It sounds like you're in it wanting out, which, combined with the Cali girl thing, makes it worth at least thinking about/thinking about how to make a non-catastrophe when the time comes.

[Trigger 11]

Should I wear a condom when I have sex over the internet with a girl? I'm afraid of computer viruses.

[Alex179]

Yes this is the BPD one.

I hate to be a prejudiced jerk and say "that explains it," but...   

Yeah I know

I am such a lucky guy.   I talk to the girl that lives in Cali every night still.  That has more promise, especially in a relationship sense.

BTW, have you thought about how the girl with BPD might react at the end of your time with her?  It sounds like you're in it wanting out, which, combined with the Cali girl thing, makes it worth at least thinking about/thinking about how to make a non-catastrophe when the time comes.

The BPD girl isn't looking for a relationship and she is more emotionally connected to women.   She is bi, but she really prefers relationships with women.   Basically, she just fucks guys.   Her female lover plays violin in a band with her (she plays piano).   I might jam with both of them one day supposedly.    I really don't care at this point.