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Author Topic: Interrogate PMS Elle!  (Read 99269 times)

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Offline McGiver

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #285 on: December 30, 2006, 01:29:58 PM »
that would be a c-wazy bitch!
Misunderstood.

driftingblizzard

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #286 on: January 02, 2007, 08:14:08 PM »
Ok, now, I've narrowed my focused intellect in on the ~fair and fluffy "black and white cat"?  How can I bring the full weight of destruction to bear against such an innocent looking target?   You will always be a crazy bitch in my book.  Although I do have a very entertaining black and white cat story if you'd ever care to hear it.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #287 on: January 03, 2007, 12:27:13 AM »
Ok, now, I've narrowed my focused intellect in on the ~fair and fluffy "black and white cat"?  How can I bring the full weight of destruction to bear against such an innocent looking target?   You will always be a crazy bitch in my book.  Although I do have a very entertaining black and white cat story if you'd ever care to hear it.


i will tell you my story about a black cat named scrappy, if you tell me your story.
Misunderstood.

driftingblizzard

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #288 on: January 03, 2007, 06:57:16 AM »
Its rather sad, the cat, Buster, will die in the end. 

July 4th of 2003, my wife and I were walking the dogs down our lane.  It was early but dark, with a terrible storm brewing.  Wind, lightning, that sort of comotion.  She says to me, "I hear a cat".  I heard nothing but clamor.  But I tend to take her at her word.  This girl also has a superhuman sense of smell, so I tend to think her other senses outdo mine also.  We looked and walked, and looked.  By process of triangulation, we determined that there was indeed a cat in a slender but tall tree near our house.  It'll come down and go home when we leave I said, hoping she'd buy that.  She did...  till morning.  The cat was still there.  Hell of a storm that night too.  I'm suprised the tree was still standing.  But now, refreshed after a long night of restful sleep (I always sleep well during a thunderstorm) I sprang into action!  Getting my longest ladder from the garage, I carried it into the underbrush to the base of the tree and climbed right up.  The cat, climbed also, about 6 feet out of reach.  Damn.  Not to be outdone, I got a handsaw.  And climbed back up.  And started cutting.  As the top of this spindly tree started to bend, I thought, I'll just somehow catch (i.e. rescue) the cat as it passes me by.  The cat, not to be outdone, jumped.   :o When it hit the ground, it was already running, and shot straight up the nearest tree. Its new tree was the mother of all trees.  Suprised that a family of druids weren't camped out nearby.  The cat looked at me with distain.  And contempt.  And some other cat type looks.  Very unnerving.  No way to climb or cut.  Hmmmm. Its gotta be hungery or thirsty.  I'll lure it.  Cats I think are the hardest animals to get to do something they don't want to do.  Even worse than trying to dress a 4 year old.  But I did my best.  A cool bowl of water, some moist cat food.  Only the best for my fur covered friend.  Two days later the cat was still there in the tree, water untouched, food eaten by racoons. At 105 degrees, why won't this creature just collapse and fall to the ground?!  So my wife, patiently watching my manly skills of outdoorsmanship, says, I think I'd better help, before you kill it.  So she goes to our local animal lady, (every neighborhood has one of some sort), and gets a live trap, puts in a dish of tuna, and has herself a new cat by noon.  Our intention was never to keep the cat.  Especially one that weighed only about 1 pound (wet) and was cute as a button.  How hard could it be to give it away.  Kids do it everyday, by the boxload.  We couldn't, and we didn't.  3.5 years later, we still have the cat, and to this day, he thinks I am STILL trying to catch him.  He runs away anytime I enter a room.  Hides like I need new racket strings.  I've only touched him once since then and it was while he was sedated.  And I think he knew about that.  Maybe it was the fall from such a great height.  I don't know.

Offline El

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #289 on: January 03, 2007, 09:13:13 AM »
Let's hear the scrappy story now!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #290 on: January 03, 2007, 11:46:10 AM »
scrappy was a kitten that we adopted.
when he hit puberty (for cats) he decided to start marking his territory, which is fine male cats do that.  however it was a bit much when he decided to spray my favorite pillow.
so i started to think it over; why do cats spray?
i concluded that it was alpha male behaviour.
i decided that it was time that i showed him who the alpha male was.  so i took him and rubbed his nose in it.  then i brought him to the bathroom, held him out over the tub, pulled down my pants and proceeded to pee all over him.
guess who never sprayed in my house again?
Misunderstood.

Litigious

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #291 on: January 03, 2007, 11:46:55 AM »
You're a real man.  8)

Offline McGiver

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #292 on: January 03, 2007, 11:49:51 AM »
You're a real man.  8)
i believe that i am more instinctual (primal) than your common man.
Misunderstood.

driftingblizzard

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #293 on: January 03, 2007, 01:14:35 PM »
Let's hear the scrappy story now!

But WHAT did you think of MY story?  I LOVE your avatar by the way......  love it.

Offline El

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #294 on: January 03, 2007, 02:52:11 PM »
So how long did scrappy stink of your piss until he got it all off?
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #295 on: January 03, 2007, 03:25:54 PM »
the next morning i gave him a bath.
10 hours maybe?
Misunderstood.

purposefulinsanity

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #296 on: January 06, 2007, 09:51:33 AM »
Are you running for election this time?  Quite a few people have nominated you but you haven't said whether you'll run for admin or not yet.

Offline El

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #297 on: January 06, 2007, 09:56:32 AM »
It was buried in the thread: 
I'll accept the nomination this time around.  I spend craploads of time on here anyway, why not?
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

purposefulinsanity

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #298 on: January 06, 2007, 10:06:42 AM »
Thanks- don't know how I missed that one  :)

Offline Nomaken

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Re: Interrogate PMS Elle!
« Reply #299 on: January 07, 2007, 04:10:41 AM »
Will you make more untrainable?
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.