^^^^^
I was wrong!
I must correct this false accusation, with apologies included to all known and closet asswipes within earshot.
My car was not sprayed with pop, although it was dried sugary crap (literally) I was having trouble getting off the windshield. I have discovered that my car, due to where I park, I suppose, has been used as a mating place for a huge swarm of nectar-eating, ground-nesting wasps. I went out this morning and found the entire front fender and half of the hood covered in wasps. (all smoking little cigarettes, I might have seen, had I looked more closely)
I don't mean just a few!
It was still before daybreak and I could only see by the city lights. I was stunned, because at first I thought "some asswipe" had come back and tried to burn my car. I thought it looked like the paint was curling after being blasted with a torch. As I stepped close enough to have a better look, I heard them. My car is white, but the front quarter was so thickly covered in wasps, it looked black.
What I had interpreted as a "spray pattern" must have been caused by the swarm beginning on the shaded area of the car and moving on to the hood and windshield after sundown, dragging some of their sugar-rich urine with them as they tried to keep up with the new arrivals to the swarm. I also had the thought that it was some waspy version of honey, but upon beginning the effort to clean it again, I recognized the smell of urine.
I've seen a swarm like this twice before in the woods, but never in the city center and never before on a car.
I've been
I did not park my car there, today.