I see I have to repeat myself, damn, ran out of time. Carla, I have no reason to lie, I am selfactualizing. Embrassment, and being offended is null and void. I feel the emotions of course, but I have the fact that I am doing my best in life to fall back on. My dad lies, he didn't use to, according to my mom. My mom, poor thing, seems to be confused. Its more than what mood she is in, its what to expect out of me. I forgive her for what she did to me, the complex post traumatic stress disorder, as its part of self actualization. It is also part of self actualization to help others reach that point. That is why I have decided to make a personal visit to Jessica, in hopes that would motivate her to reach her potential. She has room for growth, just like you.
My mom is rather annoying, her trying to baby me, but I forgive her. Change is difficult, if not impossible with current technology. All I can do is prove it her, as I will Jessica, that I am doing what I say I am in real life. She said she would workout with me, and I bet love can help a person change.
I was tired yesterday, and my seasonal allergies where acting up. Today I feel much better, and I guess meditation helped a bit. It does boost white blood cell count by 40 percent in healthy subjects. I went to bed 45 minutes early today also. I forgive anyone who has wronged me because its what is best for me. Its what is best for Ozy and you also. I am sorry to the both of you. Ozy me saying something about babying was a manipulative tatic. You have room for growth, we all do. There is always room for growth.
Carla I just started doing it recently, admiting my feelings to women. I just put my issues asside, relaxing my mind, and I find the rest just cums to me. It feels good to admit such things, and I almost.. nm last time I said something to the woman at shaws. She seemed to like it. I am trying my best in life so why should I fear rejection? I also like the way I look in the mirror, I love how the hard work turned out. I got what I wanted, just like the cartoon show, with all the men with perfect abs. My brother watches it to, "Dragon Balls Z". I am not gay, I just wanted to be stronger, with a body like that, it conteracts negative trauma thoughts. EMDR, affective tollerance, and self actualizaton is basically the thing that keeps me off meds.
I thought about mom, a couple of minutes ago, and tears started to run. Its me, I am calm, that is what happens. I truly crave socialization, and I am not what my dx of HFA says I am. According to that dx, I am not supposed to be socializing as much as I am. I don't take disability sitting down, I fight to bloody hell. I demanded to be happy, and I got it.
How did your day go?
