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Author Topic: Is it possible that this is REAL???  (Read 836 times)

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willow

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Is it possible that this is REAL???
« on: June 14, 2007, 07:52:16 AM »
fucked up state laws.....


FLORIDA

    *  Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

    * A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

    * If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

    * It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

    * Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

    * Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

    * It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

    * When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

    * You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

    * It is considered an offense to shower naked.

    * You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

    * Oral sex is illegal.

    * You may not kiss your wife's breasts.

    * Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

    * One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.

    * Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence.

    * Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.

    * Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

    * It is illegal to sell your children.

   Local Law

Big Pine Key

    * It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.

Cape Coral

    * It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.
    * It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house.

Cape Coral City

    * A $50 fine will be levied on anyone who allows a couch to sit in their carport. (Passed June 2002)

Daytona Beach

    * The molestation of trash cans is banned.
    * Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.
    * Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn't capable of draining is considered a public nuisance.

Hialeah

    * Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

Key West

    * Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.

Naples

    * Neon signs are prohibited.

Palm Bay

    * Persons may not tow a sled behind their bicycles.

Pensacola

    * Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
    * It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.
    * A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.

Sanford

    * Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.

Sarasota

    * If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.
    * You may not catch crabs.

Satellite Beach

    * Beer may not be sold between 2 a.m. and 7 a.m.
    * Persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex.

Seaside

    * All houses much have white picket fences and full-width, two-story porches.

Tampa

    * Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".
    * Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.





surely this is bullshit....

http://www.justafreak.com/law/index.shtml

Offline El

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2007, 01:58:06 PM »
What exactly did they mean by "crabs"?
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2007, 02:38:12 PM »
i guess i won't be packing my strapless gown when i fly into florida.
Misunderstood.

Offline Eclair

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2007, 02:42:06 PM »
Whether it's bullshit or not, I love the idea that ambling and strolling could be a misdemeanor, especially in cities!

willow

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2007, 02:48:35 PM »
The molestation of trash cans is banned.


I love me some trash can lovin'.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2007, 02:55:05 PM »
what about the molestation of ascan?
Misunderstood.

Offline Calandale

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2007, 02:56:11 PM »
What exactly did they mean by "crabs"?

Given Florida, could be either way.

I'm just upset about not being able
to molest key deer.


In NY, it was illegal to keep a
donkey in the bathtub. All
sodomy was illegal, as well.

Offline Diesel

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2007, 03:14:55 PM »
I''ve spent a fair amount of time in Naples, Fl (parents have a winter home there) and now that you mention it, I can't remember seeing any neon-signs

willow

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2007, 03:16:46 PM »
I''ve spent a fair amount of time in Naples, Fl (parents have a winter home there) and now that you mention it, I can't remember seeing any neon-signs


but now...you want one in the front yard, don't you?!

willow

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2007, 03:17:22 PM »
What exactly did they mean by "crabs"?

Given Florida, could be either way.

I'm just upset about not being able
to molest key deer.


In NY, it was illegal to keep a
donkey in the bathtub. All
sodomy was illegal, as well.


you can fuck all other wildlife....how about a nice florida panther?

Offline Calandale

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2007, 03:21:26 PM »

you can fuck all other wildlife....how about a nice florida panther?

You seem to know my soft spots.

Scrapheap

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2007, 09:53:24 PM »
What exactly did they mean by "crabs"?

Given Florida, could be either way.

I'm just upset about not being able
to molest key deer.


In NY, it was illegal to keep a
donkey in the bathtub. All
sodomy was illegal, as well.


you can fuck all other wildlife....how about a nice florida panther?

I gotta say that I do love the brown pussy.

willow

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2007, 09:54:24 PM »
What exactly did they mean by "crabs"?

Given Florida, could be either way.

I'm just upset about not being able
to molest key deer.


In NY, it was illegal to keep a
donkey in the bathtub. All
sodomy was illegal, as well.


you can fuck all other wildlife....how about a nice florida panther?

I gotta say that I do love the brown pussy.


<blinks>

Offline Janicka

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2007, 10:09:01 PM »
Well, I don't know why fucking porcupines has to be illegal.  It's just common sense not to do that. 
"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?" ~Albert Einstein

Offline Calandale

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Re: Is it possible that this is REAL???
« Reply #14 on: June 17, 2007, 10:20:43 PM »
Well, I don't know why fucking porcupines has to be illegal.  It's just common sense not to do that. 

:LMAO: