the reason that you can't explain it is because you are amking it up as you go along?
No. It's something I've wasted a lot of time
trying to pin down. I end up getting addicted
to certain routines, and it feels like duty. Dancing
is a great example: I really feel that I'm neglecting
something important when I try not to go.
Thing is, duty is never to myself. Thus, I screw myself
over constantly.