I had an issue with truama to start, but a little visual imagery and my energy perked up mad fuckn high. I did this while baggging and slowly lost the image and performance stayed the same, fuckn high! I got almost the highest number of hours out of anyone, working 6 days a week. I am an athlete for christ sakes, one who can go almost a whole day without food and can exercise vigorously, for a long time.
I understand I get these moods sometimes, far less frequent with grain and dairy restriction, and that can sometimes affect what my tollerance for AS. I appologize though everytime, and she see the fuctional improvements so she really considers the offer again of keeping me as a boyfriend. I told her it helps because she motivates me to stick with it, as additional support using visual imagery. There is plainly no excuse for me ever to do that again, it just takes 5 minutes or less usually and I can focus on two things on ounce and still feel good after. There is no making a production out of it to. I work with her and talk things through, see what she wants. We texted it must of been 20 times one night because it was bed and her mom wanted her off the phone. They way she handled herself was wonderful and it makes me feel like she is worth it. There are other times to but nice work BITCH! We made up, but I just let her talk to this other guy because I understand my money situation may not allow us to connect. I am trying god damn it, because that guy is subservent qualitity and I don't want to have her reduce herself. Christ the proper protocol is to help a relationship like ours and make friends, not date a women half your age and not care about cheating. Why has this guy not had a women yet? What the fuck is his issue? This don't look good and I don't feel safe just letting this guy have her. I am geniuely upset that I cannot interact on a daily baises with her, with actual tears. I see tears and then I see what thoughts occur before because I am not used to dealing with this much feeling. Mom says I rarely shead a tear, well give me some god damn help, you know one of them medical doctors instead of letting me die of cancer! You fuckn retard doctors, you ought to be ashamed! I looking at full time work now because that is what normal men do, I feel like I can so I will. Get my ass off SSI, its fuckn wrong to cheat, and not be a man. I clearly see what I need to do!
