I am an oracle. Really.
Do you know what an oracle is? An oracle in the old days was someone who could see the future. It was a mystical sort of occupation. These days we have science. An oracle these days is now called a data miner. A data miner takes in all available data and makes prognostications based on it.
I am very good at it.
This gets me in lots of trouble with lots of people. If you don't know me, you soon will. I have been banned from forums across the internet. People really hate it when you tell them the truth. As an oracle, I have to tell the truth. It is not in my nature to lie.
When I tell people that homosexuality is bad and will make you unhealthy, they get all angry. They attack me and in a short time they form a lynch mob to ban me. They think I am being judgemental and saying I hate people. Or they think I am a bible thumper reciting the bible. People simply cannot believe that I am telling them the straight truth.
When I tell people about Israeli World Domination, they start crying about racism this and racism that. They don't want to listen to reality, they want to obey their programming. Which is to lynch anyone that says anything about Israel.
When I tell people that masturbation will make them blind and crippled, they don't like that. They say that the doctors say masturbation is good for the prostate. When I tell them the doctors are stupid, and the story about the prostate is part of Israeli World Domianation to make you weak and mentally incompetent so you cannot compete with Israelis for jobs or education, people call me troll. They simply cannot believe that I know things that a doctor does not. Or that there is a group of people out there that wants to make them sick and weak so they can take advantage of them.
Actually I am a good guy. Intelligent, insightfull and educated. I can tell you the meaning of the universe. It won't do anything for you. What can you do with the meaning of life and the universe? You can't eat it or drink it or spend it. If you show it off to people, most of them will say "So What?". The rest will tell you that you are crazy.
If you are like me and love knowledge for knowledge's sake, then the only thing that matters is that you know what the meaning of life and the universe is. Who care's how much money you have or how good your girlfriend looks or what kind of car you have? The really interesting thing to me was, "Why the hell am I here on this planet living this life"?
It took me years and I almost died. But I got it. Or more accurately it was given to me. But that is a very long story that you will probably not believe.
, and quacks like a 