Intimidated, new, and have to ask

[ladytron]

I am not sure if this is going to get my a** kicked.  I stumbled on this site whilst checking to see how highly ranked in google searches my own
autism site comes up, and I found this site.

As a parent of an amazing five year old child diagnosed with hi-func autism(super verbal, bright, funny, charming - has the stims and behaviors and speech snafus etc - I feel she will evolve to be Aspie) , I often think and dream about how she will be and how she will fare when she grows up.  You hear these stories of how one day there's a a child who's seemed well with the world generally and then they hit puberty and then want to die and kill everyone and stop talking and what-not.

There are also stories of children who seem to have "responded" amazingly to therapies etc. then they hit puberty and want to murder the parent for putting them through a shaming hell, etc.

is it insulting for me to ask you guys about this as people who have come through it all?  Was therapy good?  Did you get it 15-20 years ago?  If so did it make your life better as adults?
What can you tell the parent of a child today who is in her formidable years with the syndrome?  Best things to do that won't make her hate me, things that will make her hate me but ultimately will make her life better?

My life is devoted to autism and asperger's rights today and all this information means a lot to me.

Thanka and i hope I haven't pissed anyone off

[McGiver]

first off you may type the word ass.  or even shit.  you can say whatever you like.


about struggling:

i think it is important to wark hard, believe in yoursef, and never, ever give up.

[Calandale]

Takes a lot to anger us. You might just get flamed for fun though. 

Anyhow, therapy never did much for me, but I've never dealt with someone
who was a specialist in AS issues. When I was young, I just tended to try and
play with the therapists. The more they would just listen, the more that I would
refine my philosophies in such a way as to come to conclusions which most of
humanity found unacceptable. But, I kind of do that anyway - it was just neat
having someone willing to listen, and give a sounding board for my insanities.

[Scrapheap]

I never had the benefit of therapy or a diagnosis as a kid.


One word of advice I'd give to you though, don't withold information of any kind from you daughter. Streetsmarts and knowledge of the big wide world are things she won't naturally pick up on and will have to be explained to her.

Are you a prudish repressive christian ??

[ladytron]

She has seemed to blossom with therapy, intense therapy in terms of the raw hours (40 hours a week) - but I tried ABA in the begginning(2.5) and saw her personality shrivel and die, kicked them all to the curb and went to DIR (I think it stands for Direct Interative Relational or something similar-  Greenspan's method)  where she has three amazing people who use a high affect, a lot of enthusiasm and a tremendous amount of love that she seems to just LOVE love love, they play a lot of games, make a lot of art, run around and bounce on trampolines and laugh a lot.  She also has speech 3 hours a week and OT - some proprioceptive stuff like the body movements that seem to be searching for a reference point in space.  A lot  of times I see it as her expression of joy as well (the big smile gives it away)

Anyway - I would just love to hear from anyone who did or didn't have intervention whilst young and into the teenage years - and also your best schooling experiences. (or worst) in terms of the higher ups not having a clue to what you needed.  For her I know the key is total neuro typical immersion in school.  She soaks up tons of things from the other kids who are termed "normal" which is probably a misnomer. 

Thanks in advance.

[ladytron]

I never had the benefit of therapy or a diagnosis as a kid.

Are you a prudish repressive christian ??

No, not Christian or prudish.  I had to sign this agreement in the beginning to get on this thing that said I would never use profanity pass gas or do anything else to upset people
More of a cosmotologist.  heh.

[Scrapheap]

No, not Christian or prudish.  ........More of a cosmotologist.  heh.

You should do fine then. I was hadicaped by a Victorian Puritan Christian home. It took me years to recover.

Just be honest with your daughter and try to get a feel for what she's not picking up on and explain it to her.

You're already on the right path it sounds like. 

[ladytron]

Anyone have a horrible time - like more than is usual with teenagers - getting to adolescence and wanting to murder oneself and everyone, etc.

You hear really tough tales of this...  kids not being ableto go to school anymore because they are so ashmaed of being different or whatever.

my child is such a little sunshine I hope she never comes of age and feels like destroying herself because she's not Britney Spears or whoever the gross pop icon chick is at that time.

[Callaway]

I had some sort of reading training when I was younger, to help my visual tracking.  I think it was helpful.  My brother had speech therapy which I think was helpful.  My daughter had speech therapy and occupational therapy starting when she was three.  She never had ABA, but the way I played with her was sort of like Greenspan's Floor Time, if that makes any sense.  We have also done RDI with her and she seemed to enjoy that.  She is autistic, not AS.

I was very different and I was bullied in school, but I never came to the point where I wanted to kill anyone.  I did finally learn to hit back, though. 

[Calandale]

No, not Christian or prudish.  I had to sign this agreement in the beginning to get on this thing that said I would never use profanity pass gas or do anything else to upset people

People READ those?

[ladytron]

I had some sort of reading training when I was younger, to help my visual tracking.  I think it was helpful.  My brother had speech therapy which I think was helpful.  My daughter had speech therapy and occupational therapy starting when she was three.  She never had ABA, but the way I played with her was sort of like Greenspan's Floor Time, if that makes any sense.  We have also done RDI with her and she seemed to enjoy that.  She is autistic, not AS.

I was very different and I was bullied in school, but I never came to the point where I wanted to kill anyone.  I did finally learn to hit back, though. 

Hi Callaway,

Thanks for responding.  Are you diagnosed AS?  How do your daughter's symptoms look?  Is she talking (I can't tell exactly how old she may be now from your post)  How is she physically in termso f keeping up with peers on the playground (that's something my child needs help with  - just physcial reaction time and agility)

Thanks for the info!

[Callaway]

My daughter does not interact very much at all with typical peers, nor did she when she attended a public elementary school, so "keeping up with peers on the playground" is not one of our big concerns.  I would be happy if she just kept her hands and feet to herself.  She just started attending a specialized school for autistic children a few days ago.  She turned 11 today and she is in the class for "higher functioning children."  She is highly verbal, but she has difficulty being understood sometimes by people who do not know her well, even after seven years of speech therapy.

Is that your daughter in your avatar?  She is adorable.

[odeon]

Hi Ladytron, and welcome to the nuthouse.

Intensity's not your typical AS/autism support site, as you may already have guessed, but instead an anally free speech forum and enabler for a bunch of weirdos of whom most are on the spectrum or very close to it. We do support, in a little subforum where some of us have sort of promised not to flame each other right away, but we also review beer, plan the world Aspie Elite conspiracy, and play silly games, the last word game being most silly of them all.

There's always room for one more weirdo so tell me, are you on the spectrum yourself?

Oh, I almost forgot, when we become adults, some of us apparently go around shooting people (if the media are to be believed) or advocate ideas weirdly close to this.

[Calandale]

We become adults?

[duncvis]

Allegedly.