I kinda understand, but the only point (after I had friends)
when I felt alone (in terms of relationships) I still had some.
I was young then, and had hopes as well. I mean, I sort
of do still - I know that I can still interest the purty things,
but I feel that I just wouldn't have the strength to devote
to falling in love anymore. Kind of makes the whole issue of
my expectations a joke, but I can't see having less than what
I got used to. Probably would always regret it.
On the other hand, I just don't think that I have anywhere
near the will to force myself to seek the divine knowledge
without being in far more horrible circumstances than I
am liable to face. There are times when I wish that they
would just lock me away from all the distractions, and see
what I could come up with.