Cal, there is a whole ocean out there, stop looking in the pond all the time. As for insanity, do you reckon it can outrun you?
1. 'tis easier. I can search for work online,
whilst lazing here. Better than the only other
temporary option that I have - which would
mean solitude during my search.
2. Has so far. Probably will, unless I chase it
full time.
You and your laziness. Are you lazy due to indecisiveness?
Or insecurity?
Or, laziness?
I really don't know. There's fear, indecision, and even when those
seem chased away, still problems. I don't know which is the 'real'
culprit, nor what good 'twould do to find out. Had a session with
my shrink (the last) and went through this. Some of it feels as though
all the weight of reality is mine to bear, and any mistake that I make
could have tremendous consequences. Yeah, I don't really believe
that, but I almost do.
Fuck. I just need to DO. But that's what I've never been capable
of.
Waiting for some stinky sex.